SAY "CHEESE"

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads--d'Verse Poets Pub

In every political campaign
that runs those mudslinging 
attack ads on TV
there is a person on the staff
whose job is to pour through
hundreds or maybe thousands
of  photos
to find the least attractive
and least flattering pictures
of the opponent
to put up onscreen
(followed by the misleading "facts"
that they hope you will buy
because they think you're stupid)
you can turn the sound down
on your set
and know in an instant
who the ad is promoting
by whether the person depicted
on screen
is happy and smiling
or scowling and frowning
so many photos being taken
of any public figure
and some will catch you 
with your mouth wide open
or eyes closed
or some weird facial expression
and the person sifting through all these shots
is cackling to himself
Hhaaw...this one really sucks....
no wait--THIS one is worse--
looks like he didn't get any sleep
the night before...hey Joe...
should we run this one or that one?
And Joe says Man, THIS one...poor
sonofabitch...wait till he sees himself...

And people get paid for this

Don't think I want to be
represented by anybody
from either side of the aisle
who will go to these lengths
to demean another person 
just for the sake of winning
and you still seem surprised
when the next politician
and then the next 
is nabbed for some moral
or criminal offense
when it's staring you
right in the face
during the campaign
what kind of an asshole
he really is

FEELTHY TING

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Now you...                                                                                           d'Verse Poets Pub

Even SIN thinks you're disgusting
ya see Sin ain't so bad
half the time
lookit all the peoples
flocking to Las Vegas
gonna blow their wad
on some hookers and a craps table
but it's alright
cuz jobs are being provided
through the generosity
of your donations
but lookit you
you feelthy ting
and just because you diggin Steely Dan
while on the can
ain't gonna give you a free pass
you know people
shouldn't eat in public
cuz it's gross
with that juice dribbling down your chin
and some unrecognizable something
stuck to your teeth
and you got so distracted
by that chick with the jugs
that you tried to spoon soup
into your nose
slurping
and burping
yeah, that's a nice way to impress
a date--
what the hell is  wrong with people?
never could figure out why
the truly exquisite thing
which is making love
got cloistered away
behind closed doors
while the truly disgusting thing
which is eating
is not only allowed
but encouraged in public
you see it everywhere
on TV and in the movies
people shoveling it in
and then talking with
their mouths full
what the hell 
are you trying to say 
is it bigger than a breadbox?
and you 
well even Sin thinks you're disgusting
lookit what you did
you  think I'm gonna clean that up?
no way
brother
no way
you've got more brains than that
you fetid furshluginner thing
take that carcass
you are gnawing on
and go sit with the rest
of your zombie friends 
I'm goin out tonight
to howl 

JUST VAMPING

Bats roll

buzzards troll

freaks plague

your tormented soul

and we are waiting.

We dance by day

we dance by night

here to give you

such a fright

and we are waiting.

Brothers and sisters

we are waiting.

mothers and fathers

we are waiting.

sons and daughters

we are waiting.

sons of bitches

we are waiting.

Angels and whores trade places

in a moonlit masquerade

Zombies dance

without any pants

And we are waiting...

for THE NIGHT !

"TEACHER SORAYO"

With Real Toads--d'Verse Poets Pub

I'm a ritualistic
synergistic
goin ballistic
muhfuggah
dancin with wolves
dancin with dingos
dancin with Daddy G

Go Daddy

got that frizzy Richard Simmons hair
but I got more weight to toss around
than that little pissant
and when I sidle up to the ladies
I go diddley-bop...thunk!
I go diddley-bop...thunk!
I go diddley-bop...thunk!
And they all run
cuz they scared of my junk
as I chase them around the room
in my red skivvies with CCCP emblazoned
across the front

Sometimes I put on a chef's hat
and mix up a concoction that will
make you toss your cookies
but you gotta drink it all
to stay in the game

And it's a wild and crazy game
with bodacious boobies
that will knock you out
(literally)
swinging left and right
and to and fro
and round and round they go
and when they hit you
you will shout
and be amazed
as you stagger about
 in a silicone haze

And then the confetti comes
raining down
and it's curtains for anyone
who gets in my way cuz
I go diddley-bop...thunk!
diddley-bop...thunk!
and you'd think I was drunk
as I pursue them about the stage
I should be in a cage but
A Que No Puedes
is all the rage
with psychos like Timoteo
who never learned to act their age

DON'T JUST STAND THERE

With Real Toads--d'Verse Poets Pub

Love me like a fist

Spray me like a skunk in heat

Leave on a cruise liner to India

Put your hands together in prayer

Make a bee-line for the nearest exit

Tell three people what you did in the bathroom on September 17, 1982

Pay your bills before the grace period ends

Have lunch with a guy named Shlomo

Slap your ass and admit that it's real

Be a mean mama jama and spin like a wheel

Toss your hat and your cookies into the ring

Groove on the wonder of EV-ER-Y-THING