Friday, June 26, 2009


I once knew a girl
who couldn't tell
her right from her left.

One day she said to me:
If there is TRULY a left
and if there is TRULY a right--
then why does the world
that I see on my right
when I turn to the north
become the world
that's on my left
when I turn to the south?

And I said to her: Congratulations!
You have just discovered
that the world is an illusion.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Iran doesn't know how
to steal an election.
Saying that Ahmadinejad
won by a LANDSLIDE was stupid.
The opposition candidate
had massive support--
and everyone knew that,
at the very least,
the voting would be close.
They should have declared
it too close to call,
and turned it over to their equivalent
of the SUPREME Court--
where the SUPREME leader already knew
the vote would be rigged in his favor--
still denying the will of the people,
but creating the ILLUSION that
justice had been served...
THAT'S how you steal an election.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Tall and gangly
with full pouty lips
but no hips.

The butt of jokes in middle school
as they towered over most of the boys--
now, here's their revenge.

Strutting in their undies
like God's gift to mankind.

Proclaimed "beautiful" by a handful
of eccentric fashion designers
and themselves.
Dogmatizing a standard
from which there can be no deviation.

But in reality
they are misfits still...
and sexy to whom?

Well, maybe a giraffe.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


Woe is me...woe is me...
The digital revolution
has screwed up my TV.
I hooked up my converter box
I did like they said
But now my local PBS station is dead.
I've scanned and I've re-scanned
And I think it's a sin
Cuz that stinking channel just will not come in.
Come to think about it
Those pledge breaks were long
Something about it just struck me as wrong.
They tried to convince me
I should pay them a fee
When I knew damn well their programming was free.
Yeah, something about that
Whole thing smelled funny
And NOW I'm glad I didn't send them any money!