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Sunday, February 6, 2011

PREGNANT WEATHER GIRLS


























A cold front? A warm front?
Will it rain or shine?
He can't remember what she said
Cuz she just looks so fine

There's sexy Sue, and Ashley too
Reporting with exuberance
Then one day without warning
WHOAH--a big protuberance!

Now her face is glowing
Smiling oh so brightly
Cuz she's so proud to show the world
What she's been doing nightly

Oy! His curvy fantasy
Has turned into a blob
And now it's plain for all to see
That she's been laying down on the job

The boss was overheard to say
(Only half in jest)
That when she stands in front of the map
Her bulge blots out the whole midwest

Oh, those pregnant weather girls
There's one on every station
Don't get too used to seeing her
She'll soon be on vacation

Now you see her, now you don't
Now filling in--the janitor, STEVE!
But hey folks out there, don't you fret
She'll be back after months of maternity leave

She knows the camera loves her
But so does good ole Ted
And things would be much simpler
If she could just do the weather from bed

Yep, she's gonna have it all
A career and kiddies too
But all those little darlings
Will be raised by a nanny named Cindy Lou

44 comments:

  1. lol! Loved it, Tim! I have to confess I haven't seen any pregnant weather girls - obviously I'm watching the wrong station! I can't pick out a favorite line because they were all great.

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  2. Oh Tim, I love it!! That was hilarious and I am called Cindy Lou, so that made it even better!!

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  3. A little brutal but somewhat accurate...what a writer you are!

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  4. That was hilarious Timmie. You made me laugh out loud.

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  5. TALON,
    Around here, it's hard to find a female news anchor or weather reporter who ISN'T expecting!

    CINDY,
    Hey, Cindy Lou--must have been a psychic connection that I thought of that name!

    LORRAINE,
    I'd like to do some research to see if TV personalities are disproportionately prone to pregnancy, or if it just seems that way because they are in the public eye. :)

    GYPSY,
    If I can make someone laugh, I've prevented them from crying...at least for that moment!

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  6. Looks like I'm not missing much by not having a tv!

    Crying isn't all bad, it can be cathartic :)

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  7. KOBICO,
    I knew a woman who got rid of her TV...now she just stares at the wall where it used to be. Says it's just as entertaining as before.

    Crying can be cathartic--but generally speaking, I prefer laughter. :)

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  8. You've linked motherhood - oh sainted motherhood - with sex, you naughty man. I smile . . and very much enjoy.

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  9. ARLENE,
    Come to think of it, I have! Just felt that sooner or later, someone should point that out!

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  10. Timoteo: I guess she has a Romeo.

    Cheers,
    Percio

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  11. PERCIO,
    And an Alfa Romeo, most likely, too!

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  12. I had to just laugh because we have a weather girl out on maternity leave for the second time. They have another weather girl who was also on maternity leave. I guess those weather girls just know how to stay warm during those cold spells!

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  13. Yep, she's gonna have it all
    A career and kiddies too
    But all those little darlings
    Will be raised by a nanny named Cindy Lou..

    creative and cool story, lovely humor.
    wow, you rock!

    A++
    :)

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  14. A delightful and humorous take on life.

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  15. ahaha! you sure know how to make us lol! :)

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  16. That was a crack-up! I am totally recalling our pregnant weather girl. What a fun take on a nearly universal experience!

    www.cloakedmonk.com

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  17. Friggin' a hoot, thanks for the laugh!

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  18. love the humor- thank you for sharing.. here's my potluck..
    http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/broken-home/

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  19. Humor, jovial and entertaining. This was a wonderland of puns and fun poetry. Great stuff.

    Missy

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  20. You know Tim when you got nothin' instead of repeats, put a photo up of anything,it'll work for me

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  21. I am still laughing.. but what creativity.. beautifully narrated this..

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  22. LORRAINE,
    I can always count on your sweet disposition!!! The repeats that I do were originally posted, for the most part, when the only people who were reading me were YOU, basically--and maybe you've noticed that I have a bit larger audience now, and THEY haven't seen these poems. So as they say on TV...if you haven't seen it, it's new to you!!!
    So I will continue post a MIXTURE of new and older work, because a poem should never die...it should just be resuscitated every once in a while!!! LOL
    (And thanks for your loyalty!!!)

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  23. What the heck? This is so dang true. I swear we had a 'meteorologist' who was pregnant for five years.

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  24. I laughed out loud...No cold front in sight.

    JP

    http://tasithoughts.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/towards-it/

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  25. lol, enjoyable piece, nicely done!
    Happy potluck! lol

    http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/the-winner-stands-alone/

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  26. There's a reason don't watch tv. You just gave me another one.

    So funny.

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  27. Hilarious piece. Great images and a comical progression. I was grinning through your visions of the original weather girls - certainly not enough of those anymore! Haven't seen many pregnant ones myself, just a lot of weather men these days...certainly not as appealing.

    Through the hilarity though you also paint a serious point in the ending...so many of these types are so proud to have both a career and children, but do they really? They just hand the children off to someone else, let them handle all the fuss, and get to smile and say they've got the perfect family. A little disgusting.

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  28. ha...if she would stay away from ted...yeah i see this as well...nice write..

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  29. Those weather girls if they would just keep their heads out of the clouds...

    Nice One Shot thanks

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  30. Yyou had me laughing like crazy, Timoteo!! This was simply tooooo cute!!
    I visualized the entire thing (ofcourse I could simply switch on some news channel)... and everything was so clear!!

    Whew... those weather girls!! Good thing there's no such problem with weather men! lolz

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  31. Extremely clever and accurate - all the ones lately here have been accentuating their bump over the cold fronts! Very funny and enjoyable. That takes real talent! Well done. Gay

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  32. Hilarious, Timoteo.

    Oh well--as my granny used to say, the guy is just as pregnant, it just doesn't show. And he's expected never to feel bad about handing the kid off to someone so he can have it all, wife kiddies and mercedes ragtop. ;-) just sayin ;-)

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  33. THANKS EVERYBODY...GLAD YOU HAD FUN WITH THIS!

    CIANPHELAN,
    Always appreciate yourinsightful comments.

    WORDSASUNDER, MOONDUST,
    Love your cleverness!

    KAVITA,
    If weather MEN got pregnant too, we'd NEVER know what the weather was going to be!

    HEDGEWITCH,
    Yeah, but "having it all" is what everyone seems to want. But if we have it all...doesn't that leave someone else with nothing?

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  34. lol now that I think about it. :)

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  35. Ahh!! the travails of working... I enjoyed the way you have brought it out...Thanks for sharing..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-another-kind-of-valentines-day.html

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  36. I laughed out loud at "she's been laying down on the job"

    Why oh why do we fall for pretty weather girls, traffic reporters, etc?

    They always break our hearts in the end!

    Great stuff, Timoteo! (As usual!)

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  37. What a wonderful write, so funny and apposite :)

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  38. been a while since I visited...what a fantastic time to visit...this poem is clever and ..well, hysterical

    Nice One Shot!
    peace,
    Annie

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