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Friday, August 26, 2011

DE FIRST THING YOU MUST LEARN



















You go to de sink
and de cat, he is in de sink
an' he look up at you
wit dat look
an' you know he want a drink
so you turn on de faucet
and de cat, he start to drink
den de telephone ring an'
you go to answer it--
meanwhile de cat,
he has drunked his fill
an' he hop down from de sink...
he don't turn off de faucet,

NO

an' he don't come by to tell
you dat he be done wit his drink...

NO

instead he go to de box an' scratch around
an' den he make poopy
an' den he run outside
becuz first thing you must learn about de cat
is dat he don't care how long de faucet run
so you talk and talk on de phone
an' den you take a drive to de store
becuz you forget all about de faucet
an' you come home FOUR hours later
an' you see dat de faucet, she be still running
an' what is de first thing you say?

Come on now,
becuz you know dat de first thing you say is not
OH, HOW STUPID OF ME!

NO

dat is not de first thing you say...
becuz de first thing you always gonna say is...

DAMN CAT!


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58 comments:

  1. lissaAugust 26, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    so much for distractions - perhaps the cat is even more distracted by his own needs.

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  2. Sharon DayAugust 26, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    I love dat cat.

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  3. MaggieAugust 26, 2011 at 5:50 PM

    LOL. What a cutie. Could have been worse. A plugged sink. Good thing de cat don't know dat!

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  4. linda, wander to the waysideAugust 26, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    I can't believe you made a label 'making poopy'!

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  5. Mystic_MomAugust 26, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    an den you be glad cuz dat cat didn't put da plug in da sink...

    I'm STILL laughing, this is such a great read out loud poem...I love dat cat!

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  6. Lisa BAugust 26, 2011 at 6:44 PM

    Hysterical!! Dat is a good bad cat!

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  7. EvelynAugust 26, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    and here I thought you were just an ordinary crazy person...

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  8. TimoteoAugust 26, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    LISSA,
    Dat is totally right.

    SHARON,
    He is one of my sweeties.

    THINGY,
    If de cat sit in de sink wit his butt over de drain while he be drinking, den you got a plugged sink!

    LINDA,
    Kind of a take off on "making whoopee" but with different results. (I can't believe you commented!) LOL

    MYSTIC MOM,
    He is glad you like him...now he wants you to give him a treat!

    LISA B,
    You are psychic, because he is very good/bad!

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  9. Brian MillerAugust 26, 2011 at 7:39 PM

    haha...its all the cats fault...for sure...dat darn cat...love the accent as well...

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  10. Sherry Blue SkyAugust 26, 2011 at 10:46 PM

    Hilarious. Damn cat!

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  11. Jenne' R. Andrews August 27, 2011 at 1:11 AM

    Oh Tim... what are we going to do about you. I wish we were younger and in Europe some where. Kisses-- j

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  12. UnknownAugust 27, 2011 at 3:07 AM

    Aw, poor kitty, always getting the bum rap.

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  13. Kerry O'ConnorAugust 27, 2011 at 4:47 AM

    Excellent! I love the use of the vernacular. It brought the whole thing to life.

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  14. Dulçe ♥August 27, 2011 at 6:00 AM

    No No No
    it's your fault, not de cat's.
    :-)

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  15. TimoteoAugust 27, 2011 at 8:41 AM

    BRIAN,
    Wasn't there a TV show back in the day called "That Darn Cat?"

    SHERRY,
    Well, sooner or later we must all acknowledge that our knee-jerk reaction in many instances is to blame others :)

    JEN,
    I'm right with you on that. Missed that opportunity, unfortunately. But we'll always have Paris (Hilton, that is.)

    SHERRY,
    How ya doin? Hope your skies are a brilliant blue today!

    KOBICO,
    We so like to take it out on those closest to us, don't we? (What have you been doing?)

    KERRY,
    Thanks so much. It's extremely nice when a great poet likes your stuff!

    DULCE,
    I will most likely come to that conclusion...but it may take years of therapy!

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  16. TimoteoAugust 27, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    EVELYN,
    No, I'm an EXTRAORDINARY crazy person!

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  17. AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    meeeeoooow lol xxjen

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  18. TimoteoAugust 27, 2011 at 1:58 PM

    JENNY,
    Come here kitty, and let me pet you!

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  19. AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    Here I sit in the jungles of Brazil, tears of laughter streaming down my face. You are internationally silly and I love you! Hugs, pat

    How can I not love a guy that not only writes poetry but makes me laugh so much.

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  20. kaykualaAugust 28, 2011 at 3:01 AM

    Darn! The Cat gonna do lots more. He the Cat gonna get da blame again. Hilarious!

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  21. TimoteoAugust 28, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    PAT,
    Wow...to be loved is everything that I could ask for! Sending my love to you...you have MADE MY DAY!

    KAYKUALA,
    Hey, nice to meet you!

    ReplyDelete
  22. TALONAugust 28, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    lol! Yes, that's exactly what you're gonna say :)

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  23. UnknownAugust 28, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    This is totally something I would do, leaving the faucet on for hours without realizing it. Thankfully, the stopper wasn't in, right?

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  24. EvelynAugust 28, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    Thats my favorite kind of crazy person.
    We are paisan!
    :)

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  25. LBTLAugust 28, 2011 at 6:43 PM

    I enjoy reading you always and yes that damn cat lol

    Here's my entry: http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/something/

    this is my 5th try on commenting. Blogger is totally refusing anything but anonymous it seems :(

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  26. Marbles in My PocketAugust 28, 2011 at 6:46 PM

    HA! That's a good one! Love it! Here's the thing, though; I don't even have a cat, and I went to the store the other day and left the water running in the sink!

    Here's my poem for this week: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/08/28/forever-changed-2/

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  27. the cello stringsAugust 28, 2011 at 7:28 PM

    lovely word play.

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  28. AnonymousAugust 28, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    lol....

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  29. AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    How amuzing!, lol. It's always the cat's fault!! Good job. Here's my offering: http://terri0729.wordpress.com/2011/08/29/soul-kiss/
    Enjoy the picnic!

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  30. TimoteoAugust 29, 2011 at 6:34 PM

    EVELYN,
    Does that mean we can have a pajama party?

    LBTL,
    As everyone knows, the 5th time is a charm!

    MARBLES,
    Oh my...I feel for you cuz you don't even have an excuse!

    CELLO STRINGS, BLACKSWAN, TERRIO729:
    Welcome to my fun house!

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  31. EvelynAugust 30, 2011 at 7:53 AM

    I never turn down an offer for a sleepover...

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  32. Ann LeFloreAugust 30, 2011 at 9:01 AM

    I like your entry to the poetry potluck. I am so happy to read each one of the entries this week. It is hard to decide which one I like best. They are all so good. Mine is http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/08/29/the-one-and-only-kiss/#comments

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  33. AnonymousAugust 30, 2011 at 1:21 PM

    hi tim your still puuurrrfectly hanging onto this cat blog lol xxjen

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  34. Virginia RobertAugust 30, 2011 at 4:36 PM

    What a beautiful, putty tat! I had one just like that...loved to drink from the faucet. Thanks for the poem. Damn cat!

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  35. Pat HattAugust 30, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    The rhyming putty tat meows until I put it on and bathes under it. Strange indeed, plays in the bath tub as it drains too..haha

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  36. Dulçe ♥August 30, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    Yeap- therapy... hee hee
    Take thuis chance to tell you I loved 'de' poem :-)

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  37. Arron ShillingAugust 30, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    A visit here is an education...every time something fresh and V. funny.

    damn cat...man...you killed it....

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  38. mrs mediocrityAugust 30, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    hahahaha... as a crazy cat lady with five of my own, that phrase passes through my lips several times a day...

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  39. Brian MillerAugust 30, 2011 at 6:19 PM

    i think there might have been...actually it was a movie..disney i believe...

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  40. VictoriaAugust 30, 2011 at 6:23 PM

    Why do I have a feeling this really happened. Funny one, Tim. Enjoyed the "voice."

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  41. author.nara.maloneAugust 30, 2011 at 6:42 PM

    Laughing, you put it more sweetly than I would have. But yeah, that's close to what I would have said.

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  42. TimoteoAugust 30, 2011 at 6:48 PM

    EVELYN,
    Oh boy...a pillow fight!

    ANN,
    Thanks for coming.

    JENNY,
    My...what nice fur you have!

    SEEK THE SUN,
    Cats love water, unless it's in the form of a bath!

    PAT,
    Unless it's Pat Hatt's putty tat!

    DULCE,
    Thanks. That photo just gets me every time!

    AARON,
    So nice to see you here...hors d'oeuvre?

    MRS. MEDIOCRITY,
    We are kindred spirits!

    BRIAN,
    That sounds more like it.

    VICTORIA,
    Yes, it happened...and continues to happen LOL!

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  43. ayalaAugust 30, 2011 at 6:58 PM

    Love it!!!!!!

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  44. CrystalAugust 30, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    Ha! Dat's exactly de first thing you gonna say. Funny!

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  45. steveroniAugust 30, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    HEY! That's me! that's ME! Blame it on the other guy...ALWAYS--grin!

    I love de cat, both yours, and mine.
    PEACE!

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  46. AnonymousAugust 30, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    Oh, I have to pass this on to a friend of mine... *smile* And this, again, makes me so glad my little four-legged furry one is of the canine persuasion! Thanks for the smile!

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  47. AnonymousAugust 30, 2011 at 10:49 PM

    >^_^< what more can I say :)

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  48. Charles ElliottAugust 31, 2011 at 8:51 AM

    Funny! To a reggae beat?

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  49. ClaudiaAugust 31, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    ha ha - so good tim....loved the dialect...and it's always the cat's fault...isn't it...?

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  50. SheilaAugust 31, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    lol! dat is de truth!

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  51. Jannie FunsterAugust 31, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    oh perfect!! gotta love cats! hope it was just a trickle?

    so much fun when you slipped into the all caps reality.


    extra cute kitty. we have two (or do they actually have us?) ;)

    please excuse all small letters. eating cheezie puffs with my left hand and typing with my right here at library.

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  52. AnonymousAugust 31, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    this really is Hilarious, I loved that the cat narrates or what sounds like the cat and I am thinking this really happened I could almost hear you yell "Damn Cat"!

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  53. Other MarySeptember 1, 2011 at 6:18 AM

    Hahahaha! Great!

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  54. Peter GouldingSeptember 1, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    Oh I love the voice of the narrator in this. Hilarious!

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  55. The BugSeptember 1, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    Oh that is SO something I would do! It's one of the reasons my husband follows along behind me to make sure I've turned off the oven, the lights, the tv, the computer...

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  56. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2011 at 8:45 AM

    Funny Bunny Fridays is open for humor entries,

    Welcome in,

    It is never too late to share a laughter with your peer bloggers.

    Keep smiling.
    Bless your Tuesday.
    xoxox


    love your poetry.

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  57. Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis HallSeptember 7, 2011 at 6:24 AM

    amazing wit and humor..

    Thanks for sharing.

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  58. Teri and her Stylish Adventure Cats September 29, 2011 at 10:02 AM

    Hell, I guess I haven't visited in a while...this made me smile, of course...One of my cats flooded my house once when he turned on a faucet!

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