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Monday, December 31, 2018

ON THE LINE BETWEEN AUTUMN AND WINTER



I.

Between what could have been

and what was
lies The Land Of Regret
where the hotel service is lousy
the beds are never made
(the sheets get so tangled)
and it's always raining.
You can go there 
for a visit
but don't stay too long
and never buy 
a one-way ticket
or you will never come back. 

II.


I've had more embarrassing moments

than you
due to a proclivity
for winging it 
in situations that required
a boy scout's preparedness
counting on some magic
unrealism to carry the day
and when it didn't
(which was 99 percent)
I developed a taste for the raw egg
that was dripping down my face
and so I wince
when reviewing the past 
but that die is cast
life is still a blast.

III. 


I journeyed back
 

to my little town
population two hundred six
in its heyday
to find it in ruins
the little cafe where all the kids
fed the jukebox and pinball machine
workin' on those night moves
at least in their heads
now just a storehouse
for some rickety furniture
the pool hall 
gone
the people I knew 
gone
it was like a war memorial
in the quiet aftermath 
of a bloody conflict 
where I literally fought
to survive as an 
outcast and a loner
and yet have always felt
better off for being battle tested.

IV.


I stand behind my life 

the way the man who follows
the elephant down the street
with a shovel and a wheelbarrow
stands behind his work. 


V.


No one is unlovable--

if you don't believe it
check out the couples
down at your local Walmart.


VI.

I can write about old lovers
family 
and friends
with no trepidation
and I do.
They don't read my work.
That
intimate stranger
I leave to you.

VII. 

I've searched for meaning
in this carnival world 
that surrounds me
only to learn
there's nothing to do
but join in the dance.

VIII.


It shifted to winter seamlessly

there was nothing you could point to
that said you've crossed over
but somewhere along the line
you did of course
autumn days still mild
nights portending of what's to come
the scent of wood smoke in the air
then one morning you awaken
and the world around you 
has grown cold
and you brace 
for December's finality.








25 comments:

  1. Egg on da face is not so bad, friend Tim as makes an excellent face mask … smiles … and cold Winter mornings are not so bad either as they make you wake up fast and ready for the day … another day and another and another … Happy New Year. … Love, cat.

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    1. Thanks for putting a positive spin on things...there are always two ways of looking at things...unless you are cross-eyed!

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  2. Tim,
    __ My best wishes to you for that parade of tomorrows that is marching toward us all_!
    __ This below, was scribbled in 2009 and re-posted just last week on the 23rd, seemingly it resonates with your hidden thought of..... looking back, to look forward. _m

    this lost voice
    questions in black and white
    photo album

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    1. It fits in very well...HAPPY NEW YEAR, my friend!

      Looking back
      Looking forward
      But always best
      To look both ways
      Before crossing

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  3. The world as we know it is unpredictable and yet at the same time surprisingly obvious. Still we manage to smile and take a leap of faith ๐Ÿ˜Š Happy New Year!๐Ÿ’ž☕

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    1. I like your interpretation, Sanaa...Happy New Year to you!

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  4. Time is bastard, and even if we want to, it's not possible to go back... and there are times and places we would rather not revisit.

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  5. If only we could build a wall between the past and the present and not have to look through it again. (But then it would be hard to get congressional funding for that!)

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  6. I love this poem, Tim! That hotel reminds me of Hotel California. I also enjoyed the lines:
    ‘I developed a taste for the raw egg
    that was dripping down my face
    and so I wince
    when reviewing the past’
    and I can imagine that little town and the way it’s changed – it sounds a bit like the town I grew up in. I find these lines so poignant and honest:
    ‘I stand behind my life
    the way the man who follows
    the elephant down the street
    with a shovel and a wheelbarrow
    stands behind his work’;

    and the final stanza! Brought tears to my eyes.

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    1. Thank you Kim, for taking the time. Your words are greatly appreciated.

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  7. there are several songs (you've plugged the jukebox for the oldies, perhaps nostalgic, because, who can't but help themselves for the folly of being human) - so immediately Hotel California did come barging into my brain (it's all good though, it's a classic, if we are anything than a class act) - and then, yes, Bob Seger - now, there is a soundtrack - and then, a slight wandering off to The Dance - Mr. Garth Brooks crooning a fading reminder ....

    so you've wander and meandered and are still, absurdly, right where you are - how about some Talking Heads? ;)

    LOL - it seems to me, that it's better to have walked the talk than bullshited one's way through it all, pretending, despite egg on the face, still finding a way to laugh about it - because indeed, suddenly, that intangible line, I suspect it's like the continental divide - is right fast upon us. There is no use surrendering to regrets, although, as Frank Sinatra said, "I've had a few" - better still to have done it, "your way."

    Cheers and all the best for 2019 Tim.

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    1. WILD CHILD--When one tries to bullshit his way through, he is depending on divine providence to see him through. It's a very Buddhist thing, however, to not to try to interpret things as good or bad because what may seem good initially on the surface may turn out the other way in the end, and vice-versa. I tend to believe it's all fallen into place the way it has for a reason. I like your jukebox selections gleaned from the poem! Many thanks for reading and taking the time with your insightful comment.

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  8. What a charming piece, reflecting upon a life lived in its absurdities, the bitter-sweet melancholy of memories, and the change of season as it always occurs without restrain! There is a self-indulgent humour here which I adore. I really enjoyed this clever and personal reflection.
    -HA

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    1. ANMOL--Absurdities...yes, you nailed it. Thanks so much, and great to see you!

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  9. Wonderful, Tim, especially that place between what could have been and what was. I smiled at the following of that elephant down the street. Lol.

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    1. SHERRY--Following the elephant down the street pretty well sums up how I look at life! There is so much shit, but you're responsible for cleaning up your own mess, and often that of others as well--lol Thank you for being there as you always have!

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  10. If I needed one set of poems to inspire me to continue writing, these are they. Simply put, a marvel of economy, and existential wit.

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    1. Kerry--If I needed one comment to inspire me to continue writing, this is it!

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  11. Each a gem... I absolutely loved each one - thought for sure there would be one dud - but no! I like how you segwayed between humor and nostalgia - not too sappy and with undertones of melancholy - everything that made me connect with them. Just excellent!

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    1. MARGARET--So nice to see you again...I greatly appreciate your thoughts!

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  12. I cannot believe this...I just wrote a response to each segment because I loved this poem so much and it all disappeared into the ether.Oh well next time I will save as I go along. I enjoyed my very long one sided conversation with you very much...This is my favourite poem of yours . I might submit it as a poem on my blog( with your permission)...but then what if you don't like it...Oh well..Great use of metaphor...The first was a ripper with the tangled sheets and rain in the land of regrets.

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    1. Of course you may put it on your blog...send me a link to it. eh? Sorry I missed those individual responses, but the fact that you liked it to the degree of calling it your favorite of mine warms my heart. And just when it needed warming!

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  13. https://rallentanda.blogspot.com/2019/01/on-line-between-autumn-and-winter-tim.html

    Here tis....I am going to submit it to Poets United on Sunday.
    Keep warm and cosy for winter. Cheers.

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