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Tuesday, February 21, 2017

ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE???



Would I appear more attractive to you...

If I were bravely shot out of a cannon
and landed in a mangled  heap
just short of the straw pile?

Would I appear more attractive
if  I wore flannel shirts a size too big
(with shoulder pads beneath)
and had a beard
(oop, I have a beard)
and went out each morning
with a big ol' ax
to single-handedly chop down the rain forest?

Or, say, if I held my wine glass
with my pinky extended
and gushed about "finish"
and "bouquet?"

Would I appear more attractive if
I posted pictures of my Corvette
(better get one first)
from every angle with the caption underneath:
VROOM VROOM?

Or if I popped over
and fixed your computer with one
perfectly placed karate chop...
VOILA!

Would I appear more attractive
if I were twenty years younger?
Thirty?
A baby spitting up on your new sundress?

Or...

If you saw me falling out of bed
( banging my head)
first thing in the morning--
mumbling...scratching...farting...
traces of last night's garlic popcorn on my breath, 
chasing you around the room imploring:
KISS ME--I'M YOURS!

Reality raises its ugly head.

Let's all go back to bed. 


32 comments:

  1. LOL. You are a hoot. I especially loved picturing the falling out of bed stanza. "Kiss me, I'm yours." Love it.

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    1. You know I'm always out to tickle you, Sherry!

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  2. This is so much fun! Love the stanza, "falling out of bed." I just finally got around to reading Darwin's Moon last week! Loved it.

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    1. OMG...I didn't know you had Darwin's Moon. I've put out two other books since then...I think Last Tango In Timbuktu you might enjoy! :)

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  3. This is such a fun read! Love your sparkling sense of wit and humor here :)

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    1. It's all that sparkling water I drink, Sanaa!

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  4. Ha.. I know... it's impossible to understand the female mind... (but I would stay away from garlic popcorn...)

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  5. Both must indulge if you're going to eat that!

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  6. This was fun. If you went back to bed, reality wasn't that ugly

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  7. You know there are self help books on how to attract and hold a woman's interest.You should not fart in a woman's presence unless you have known her for at least 8 years. I read that somewhere.Good luck in your pursuit of the fairer sex:)

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  8. Eight years seems reasonable. By that time, neither one cares :)
    Anyway, I no longer pursue.

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  9. LOL, some things do take a lot of true love (if not cannons etc.).

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  10. Hahaha! NO FARTING IN THE CORVETTE!

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  11. Delightfully rompy feel to this.

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    1. Thanks. That's just the word that keeps coming to mind!

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  12. What a rollicking great read. How good it is to laugh hearty. I must read more!

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  13. Nice poem. I was wondering how she will be able to keep up with all that attractiveness.

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  14. O, shut up and kiss me(ouw) .... smiles ... Love, cat.

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  15. I love it! Must admit....there's something about a guy who can chop wood in flannel. My sister, used to a king bed, recently fell out of the double in the guest room. So these things happen every day.Delightful poem!

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  16. More often than we'd like to admit, eh? Muchas gracias, Yvonne!

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  17. Brilliant read! I like my man to be natural, no need for airs and graces. Not sure about the farting though...
    Kind regards
    Anna :o]

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  18. You just create no farting zones, and everyone is on the honor system--lol
    Thank you so much!

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  19. LOL, VROOM VROOM


    Much love...

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    1. Time to put your top down, Gillena--lol

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