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Saturday, June 4, 2016

ARE U FLASHING GANG SIGNS AT ME OR ARE U JUST SPASTIC?



Dem goddamn blueberries when dey fall
when dey fall...

Dad deserves the best--get him some new
jockey shorts, but beware--he'll be pissed
if they're a size too small,
so sneak into his room when he's sleeping
with a tape measure.

Dem blueberries when dey tumble
off da 'frigerator shelf...

I confess what I've had bottled up inside me
for all this time is that...
goddamned Santa Claus,
he never brought me NUTHIN' I really liked.

(Would you believe I had a mild form of
Tourette's--"Saint Vitus Dance" they used to call it--
which I mostly kept under control,
or do you think I might just say that as an attempt
to explain, legitimize, or justify my poetry? )

Goddamned Santa Claus.

And dem blueberries when dey hit da floor
dey don't spill all over da place like before--
maybe my luck is changin'

At any rate, we musn't rush.
We lose GRACE when we rush--
like all the ungainly people
running to catch the bus.

But dad deserves the best, you know.
Every dad has his day
and his is comin' up.

The only lasting things he taught me were the phrases:
You talk like a woman with a paper butthole
and
Ya don't know shit from apple butter
and he was a linguistics professor too...

Goddamn blueberries.
(They've fallen and they can't get up.)

Santa tumbling head-first down da chimney.

We all
headed for a fall

So until that ungainly
ungodly day
git your back up off da wall
and DANCE!!!

(Do tics fit the description?)





21 comments:

  1. Tourette's peeps are not that bad, in fact they are highly sensitive and very compassionate, cuz they suffer ... ya ... f ... u ... smiles ... Love, cat.

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  2. I wonder if anyone except ma would dare to measure pa for boxer-shorts...

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, dat can be risky business---lol

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    2. I'm not certain I should enter this conversation.... Tape measure or ruler?

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  3. You aced the vernacular in this poem.........the blueberries seem less acquiescent than usual in this poem. Smiles. Had to smile at Santa never bringing you anything you really wanted. Mine, too. LOL. But when my kids were little, he was BRILLIANT!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, thanks so much, Sherry. (Goddamn blueberries have a mind of their own...)

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  4. This is a great, rollicking look inside a mind not in control. Very interesting and fun read.

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  5. Thanks...sometimes I'm under control, sometimes I'm not!

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  6. Totally poking at my latent hate of Santa Claus, yer gonna make me have to write something about him.

    I also laughed at measuring pa for new shorts, that would get you a black eye when I grew up

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  7. Now it can be told...and all da women are coming out of the woodwork Bill Cosby style to reveal why Santa insisted they sit on his lap!

    Black eye indeed--handle with caution!!!

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  8. Can someone tell me why Santa left the other kids great presents?

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    Replies
    1. Because he hates YOU--plain and simple--lol

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  9. Nice job on the vernacular verse in this poem :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Sanaa--always good to hear from you.

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  10. Love the whole dance of the blueberries...

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    Replies
    1. The blueberries can be seen as atoms acting chaotically...if you think about it that way, this becomes a much deeper poem than you thought--ha ha!

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  11. My blueberries were always well behaved and Santa was most excellent. This has indeed become more than the sum of its parts. My Papa just told us, Fruit of the Loom boxers, medium and let it go at that. And it worked!

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    1. You had it too good with the well-behaved blueberries and the benevolent Santa! And Papa had the foresight to anticipate that you'd be gifting boxer shorts--excellent!

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  12. Wow -- you really got into a vernacular here. A voice comes through loud and clear -- and quite a bit different from McCloskey's Blueberries for Sal!
    PS: When connecting to dVerse as you've done, can you please post a link at the end of your poem that goes to dVerse -- so others can find their way to this most amazing place where poets of all manner share their work and comment and enjoy this world of words. A simple statement like "Shared with dVerse" would be great -- with the link embedded in the dVerse.
    Thanks for sharing!

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  13. Thanks--can you provide the actual link? Because I don't see it anywhere.

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