Tuesday, February 19, 2013
SECOND GUESS
this ole place has done
'bout all the damage
it can do to me
at long last
the ghosts of
3 dogs
4 cats
and 1 woman
are all that's gonna
skulk around here
in the quiet of the moon
one disappeared into
the desert
and one languished too long
but most I put down
when their time was at hand
'cept for the woman
who also languished too long
and then disappeared into
the desert
years gone like they
were just passin' through
nomads
on the way
to a bigger watering hole
but those sunny days
that wash over you like
the womb
create a deceptively cheery glow
bidding you to second guess
your feelings
each step of the way
and so today
I locked 'er up
and turned the key
there was a spider
restin' bold
and pretty
on the middle of the door
and I smiled
and said
go in peace
my brother
Labels:
change,
impermanence,
moving,
reflection,
the desert
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smiles...its all in passing...periodically we bump our molecules...and then ricochet off in different directions...change, change change...whether we want to hold on or not...love your style man...
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, this is a killer poem! Totally atmospheric, full of dust and reverie. I LOVE the "go in peace, my brother" to the spider.
ReplyDeleteLove this. Funny how the sun can make things seem just a little brighter.
ReplyDeleteAlways a flawless flow, Tim, and a story to captivate. This was gorgeous. (and you were much kinder to the spider than I'd have been!) :)
ReplyDeleteSorry for bumming you out at my place, lol. That's why I read here. You always cheer me up, you know? Favorite stanza:
ReplyDelete"years gone like they
were just passin' through
nomads
on the way
to a bigger watering hole"
That is an excellent stanza :) Good to see you!
BRIAN: Thanks so much--always great to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteSHERRY:Thanks my sweet--I like YOUR dust and reverie line. Some of the coolest lines are often written in the comment section!
JESSICA: Thanks for that--great to see you here!
TALON:Ha--it warms the cockles of my heart to see you here...except I haven't figured out what "cockles" are yet!
LORI: Wow--I didn't actually think this would cheer anybody up--but now you've cheered me up as well.
Passing away, on, over, through, first them and then me and you too. I wonder when the spider will leave and were she will go? A very neat could-be-defeat poem, but it is not because the tone is accepting, and the years are also passing like nomads, and you put a smile in it too. Very fine.
ReplyDeleteOne of those poems that is like the place it speaks of - it lives somewhere out there on the fringes. The desire to live on the out skirts of it all can turn on one, taking a toll, when all we want or wanted was a little peace and quiet. I know of such place, I know of such persons. Some have regrets others no regrets, just tired and the time comes to let go and move on.
ReplyDeleteFirst time here, just hitting on a few links from dVers. I will try to get back to read some more another time.
nice tone/voice throughout here, a real storytelling feel to it, love the shift in the final stanza as well, really nicely done. thanks
ReplyDeleteSUSAN: You always have something spot-on to say--much appreciated!
ReplyDeleteHUDSON: You have peered right into the soul of this poem.
FRED: You're too kind...okay, you're not. LOL
This does have a melancholy feel to it. There's always a sadness in what we leave behind, but it's sometimes best to move on.
ReplyDeleteLoved it, Tomoteo ~~ Been there, done that in all aspects except for your latest, the spider episode. Wouldn't do that, Mrs. Jim (this one) and I have celebrated our 40th anniversary yesterday.
ReplyDeleteAnd he ex, she went West. Good for her, good for me. e The dog? She died last September, the latest cat too in December.
..
RAZZAMADAZZLE: Good to hear from you. Hope all is well.
ReplyDeleteJIM: Thanks, man. I thought maybe a few folks could identify with this--it is clear that you can!
Ah, Tim... Just extra special poetry, delivered with wit that makes the underlying sensitivity all the more strongly felt by this reader. In short, fine work.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to read this piece again with its dryness matching its landscape and its pull on us still.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading Lonesome Dove, by Larry McMurtry years ago. The sense of place grabbed me in that book, the realness of the characters.
ReplyDeleteThis poem draws to mind this same feeling! (although a LOT shorter :)
i love this poem, Tim. wouldn't it be great if we could put people down? wait, no. i guess what i mean is put relationships down. put them outta their misery. sigh.
ReplyDeletethis is so dry and real, i love it. of course. love your writing. have i mentioned that before? i believe i have :)
wonderfully done.there is an air of the eerie, the uncanny, the gothic about this piece which I find riveting.
ReplyDeleteKERRY: Lovely insights, as always. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSUSAN: You mentioned the dryness, and that is what gives us solace out this way. If we complain about the heat, someone is bound to say "But it's a DRY heat." Yes it is, and maybe that's where some of my dry poems come from!
MARGARET: Yes it is a lot shorter, and to the point!
MARIAN: You have mentioned that before, but just pretend that you haven't and continue!
ABIN: Your comment intrigues me. That's the great thing about comments, they can make you examine your work in a new light--one that you might not have considered previously.
And your leaving this Godforsaken place? LOVE this. The pace and diction are thoughtful, your line breaks add the right touch of pause and consideration.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/02/26/intensity-toward-blue/
New place, new life, new adventures ... you can always connect back in/ with spirit to this place ... the ghosts will be there waiting ... and the ... tall cacti :)
ReplyDeleteI keep returning to the ole place, Timo ... sitting on the porch ... waiting for some catnip ...
ReplyDelete