Sunday, December 9, 2012


We stand in the antechamber
of the apocalypse
surrounded by the changing
faces of love.

Jennifer gets a boob job
then wonders why men
don't appreciate her mind
Amy is stressed because the guy
she met through a personal ad
is getting too personal.

David has fallen head over heels for a 350 pound drag queen
who is posing as a petite nineteen year old blonde online.

Men are women
and women are men--
one's from Mars
and one's from Venus
but it's getting harder to tell
who's got the penis.

Spice Girls on the BBC
were playful
even impish
tucked inside their gowns so skimpish
but for America they wore their attitude
posturing for the average dude
who stands on the corner crying

Old gent greets the Avon lady
in the doorway with his joystick in hand
inside the house his wife chirps:
pay him no mind, dear...he's only keeping it up
for appearances sake!

And love was simple when it was
like a jackhammer penetrating your indifference
like a lumberjack chipping away at your resistance
like a finger on your trigger
like a ditch digging its digger

And in retrospect my life has been
a blue blur of contradiction
a rolling juggernaut of misjudgment
charging headlong through the rain
and pissing into the wind
a constellation of calamity
chasing dust devil dreams
down a star-speckled highway
in a last ditch attempt
to catch the champagne night flight
to Nirvana.

Still, I've never wanted to be anyone else--
just in a different game
cavorting with the Duchess of York
getting a grip on those love handles
and holding on for dear life before
she starts her next diet

And I kiss the ASS of  the sixties
for allowing me to stand here before you today--
spitting on your false piety,
your nightmare dream of polite society--
brains lobotomized
and our butts in a Singapore sling.

I kiss the ass of Ginsberg, Burroughs, and Ferlinghetti
I kiss the ass of  Lenny Bruce
and everyone who spoke the truth

We stand in the antechamber of the apocalypse
.or so they say...
But remember Y2K?
it was just another day

So don't run for the hills
no, that would be WACK
cuz you'll be back


  1. ha....some raucous fun in this one....only 12 days left...might as well take your shots...seriously can the apocalypse be any worse than where we have dug ourselves at this point....we might move up in the world...

  2. BRIAN: I hear ya. But we might as well party like it's...the end of the world!

    1. glad you did not say 1999 cause that became a bust as well..ha

  3. Oh Timoteo, you spin such a wondrous tale. Loved every word. Especially "catching the champagne night flight to Nirvana." Book me a seat, will you, kiddo?

    Speaking of flight, just saw Flight with Denzel Washington - that guy has alcoholism behavior and facial droopyness DOWN. Riveting beginning, then his artful and impressively acted downhill slide. So good he really annoyed me when he kept on drinking:)

  4. Wow. Just love this. I can see you standing in Cafe Wha,amongst the beat generation, whilst the hipsters snap their fingers.

  5. Eh...I think it'll be another day, too but in the same breath I do think this nation's going to hell in a hand-basket!!

    Niceties...politeness? For the birds I say...get to the point and do it now. :)

    I enjoy your approach to truth in these topics. Great read, Timmy!

  6. Cue applause!

    You are one funny man who can lay it all out there for the carrion birds.

  7. I love this! You have such a way of cutting through the crap and just laying it all out there!

  8. Wow, I caught between gasping and laughing out loud, I think I will just give you a standing ovation

  9. If you aren't paying attention, this seems like something that flew off the rails and stuck to the wall, but the repetition (judicious and well-timed), the rhythm and a certain chronology, shows that the madness had a plan. Fine stuff, wry and knowing.

  10. SHERRY: Thanks for supporting my work--it means a lot. By the way, I reviewed Flight on Timmy's Noodle Film reviews:

    THINGY: I knew a guy who was finger-snapping challenged--he couldn't do it. Sadly, he was turned down for membership in the hipsters.

    HANNAH: You and me, baby, we be on da same wavelength!

    KERRY: So that's why those buzzards are always circling overhead!

    RAZZMADAZZLE: I bought a new crap-cutter on the Home Shopping Network, and it works just fine!

    KIMOLISA: And I am applauding you too, for your wonderful comment!

    W.K KORTAS: "something that flew off the rails and stuck to the wall." I LOVE that! I may borrow it to use in my personal dealings with whom it applies, of course.

  11. Ah...there is so many crying, "the sky is falling" I love you keeping it real. lol Yes, they will be back to grab Santa's sack.

  12. god i just love your writing, really, this is fantastic. i'm right there with you... my life, too, has been

    a rolling juggernaut of misjudgment
    charging headlong through the rain
    and pissing into the wind

    and the rest of it. keep it coming, just love this.

  13. THIS was one of your best rants!! :)

  14. What a riot ~ And yes I remember the Y2K ~ lets not panic and it will just be another day ~

  15. Gosh I'm surprised you had yearnings for the Duchess of York. I would never have picked her as your type. Kissing Ginsberg's
    arse does not seem altogether an aesthetic aspiration.

  16. What a righteous piece. U capture it all, the hypocrisy, the greed, the trivial and corrupt, the hopeful and the hopeless. And there is just so much in there, the rolling juggernaunt, the ass kissing, the jackhammer love. thanks for sharing. I wonder what will happen that day?

  17. Outstanding write ! my favorite lines were:
    "And love was simple when it was
    like a jackhammer penetrating your indifference
    like a lumberjack chipping away at your resistance
    like a finger on your trigger
    like a ditch digging its digger"
    Well Done !!
    P.S. The ads on your blog make loading this page almost intolerably long, just saying

  18. Brilliant, fun read, Tim. I enjoyed every stanza and yet at the same time you plow through some thought-provoking observations. My theory on the Mayan Prophecy...the guy who was writing it croaked!

  19. what a cool write. So many different moods in here, the humor is ROFL material, the reflective portions do stop and make one think, the pacing is crisp and in all an outstanding piece.

  20. SUSIE: Thanks so much...but it's spelled "sac." (ahem)
    MARIAN: Is THAT what I felt hit me when the wind was blowing yesterday?
    MARGARET; I so appreciate your appreciation!
    HEAVEN: You are correct...stay in your not panic...repeat...
    CRESSIDA DE NOVA: Yeah, the Duchess...well, my eyesight ain't what it used to be. And the kissing of Ginsberg's arse is figurative, not literal--heh heh. By the way--you CRACK me up!
    DRAGYONFLY: Thanks for that analysis. What will happen on that day is a lot of people will be sitting around getting drunk and end up with hangovers the next morning, but luckily for them that's a Saturday.
    CLOUDFACTOR5: Those are my favorite lines too! Sorry to hear it takes a long time to load, but I doubt it is the ads, because there is only one that you can really see.
    VICTORIA: I'm sure it's just as simple as that! (And then they went extinct, too--might have had something to do with it.)
    FRED: YAY--it's ROFL material! Now I'm going to go look that up.

  21. What a wild ride! I want to hear this put o music! Loved every minute of it!

    Ps - my birthday is 12-21. Ooooooh!

  22. A number game, Tim... for this date: 12-12-12 becomes
    3 + 3 + 3... which equals a magic number, nine.

    9x1= 9; 9x2= 18 (1+8= 9); 9x3= 27 (2+7= 9); 9x4= 36 (3+6= 9);
    9x5= 45 (4+5= 9); 9x6= 54 (5+4= 9)

    ... and that pattern continues 'till a DOUBLE number is reached...
    9x11= 99 (9+9= 18 -a DOUBLE- of that magic number)
    __In continuing... the results of that magic number will always total to that magic number nine, or an even multiple, of that number nine. 23x9= 207 (2+0+7= 9). [oh yes, 22x9= another DOUBLE]

    Well... I guess that makes me wierd, huh?

  23. KAREN: Guess I'd better wish you a happy birthday in ADVANCE! LOL

    MAGYAR: You've got my head spinning with this! But there must be something to it, because the Beatles came to the same conclusion.

    Quoting: "...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9...number 9... number 9..."