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Thursday, September 15, 2011

JUST ASK














So here is my card
I hope you'll keep it handy
And when you call my number
Just ask for Love

Don't as for Robert
Don't ask for Bill
Don't ask for Andy
Don't ask for Phil

Don't ask for services
They can't fulfill

When you call my number
Just ask for Love

Don't ask for the doctor
He'll just give you drugs
Get them cheaper on the corner
From your neighborhood thugs

Don't ask for Ms. Anthony
Cuz she's too busy lying
Don't ask for Obama
Cuz he's too busy crying

Don't ask for no truffles
Or them fancy dishes
Don't ask for Osama
Cuz he sleeps with the fishes

Don't ask for Mr. Gibson
Cuz he's been black-listed
Don't ask for Mr. Cheney
He's too sick and twisted

I'll make you squirm
and squeal with delight
the neighbors will hear us
all through the night

So don't ask for Rhonda
Don't ask for Kathleen
Don't ask for Shlomo
Or for Mr. Clean

Don't ask for rainy day people
They only love you when it's raining
Don't ask for the plumber
You know it's too draining

Don't ask for sex tapes
No classy or trashy 'uns
What more do you need
To see of the Kardashians?

Don't ask for Yoda
Don't ask for the Klingons
Don't be that person
My dog wants to pee on

When you call my number
Be ready to get your freak on

I guarantee you
we will fit like a glove

When you call my number
Just ask for LOVE !



28 comments:

  1. amusing! I think I'm happier by having these words. thank you.

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  2. oops, I forgot a word. I meant "I'm happier by having READ these words. thanks.

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  3. Well, where's the card?

    Hmm... Rhonda, as in help me...? Kathleen?

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  4. ha...some fun touches through out...who could understand yoda any way...much less Klingons....

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  5. I think I'm in love...this is just too funny and has some bite too! :-) You rock my friend and are only too right about the plumber!

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  6. LISSA,
    As long as you're happy, I'm happy.

    THINGY,
    Pick a card...any card.

    BRIAN,
    Those Klingons...always so clingy.

    MYSTIC MOM,
    Thanks...and you know what to ask for!

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  7. This made me chuckle. Kept up the pace all the way through.

    My entry

    http://respectandacceptance.wordpress.com/2011/02/14/you-choose/

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  8. Ah, this unerring wit, my friend-- a clever and enjoyable write in a sea of seriousness, yes?

    I think you know if the stars were right I'd ask for some LOVE. xxxj

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  9. I LOVE this, as I love all your writing. Love the "get your freak on"!! And all of the dont asks.......hee hee.

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  10. lol dont ask for all the others the chances are slim just ask for the love man his name is TIM great poem made me smile xxjen

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  11. ok lets see if I can remember the number...
    1-900...

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  12. This gave me a good laugh and the pace was strong all the way to the end keep up the good work love reading your posts.
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/19/my-world/#comment-925

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  13. JEN,
    Ah yes, those damn stars.

    SHERRY,
    Getting your freak ON may be misleading, cuz it usually involves taking something off!

    JENNY,
    "The Love Man." I like that. From now on, I think that's what y'all should call me!

    LORRAINE,
    You know my name...now get my number...

    EVELYN,
    You're getting warm...

    RESPECTANDACCEPTANCE, KAY SALADY, CUCKOOCLOCK, CELLO STRINGS, ANN:
    You all are so sweet...da LOVE man has a special group rate for you!

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  14. I love poems about love, and this is a great one! Love is THE answer! Nicely done!
    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/fragile-cloth-2/

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  15. I just don't want to ask altogether so I won't call and ask at all..haha

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  16. My freak fell off a long time ago, but I'm likin the concept here.

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  17. Don't be that person
    My dog wants to pee on

    sweeeeeeeeeeet!

    a mega blast with some subtle shades hidden under the riot

    arron shilling

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  18. just ask for love...perfect!!!!!!
    :)

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  19. hahaha...it was worth the stop back in for OLN...thanks for the smiles man...

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  20. Just ask for love, huh? Funny and entertaining as always :)

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  21. witty hints.
    love your expressions.

    :)

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  22. what a fun write/read... you are bringing the smiles tonight! =)

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  23. Wonderful catnip ... I like ... will be back for more ... Lov, cat.

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  24. I've so missed your wonderful poetry! Don't know why it's been so long to stop by and enjoy your wicked sense of truthful humor.

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