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Thursday, September 15, 2011

JUST ASK














So here is my card
I hope you'll keep it handy
And when you call my number
Just ask for Love

Don't as for Robert
Don't ask for Bill
Don't ask for Andy
Don't ask for Phil

Don't ask for services
They can't fulfill

When you call my number
Just ask for Love

Don't ask for the doctor
He'll just give you drugs
Get them cheaper on the corner
From your neighborhood thugs

Don't ask for Ms. Anthony
Cuz she's too busy lying
Don't ask for Obama
Cuz he's too busy crying

Don't ask for no truffles
Or them fancy dishes
Don't ask for Osama
Cuz he sleeps with the fishes

Don't ask for Mr. Gibson
Cuz he's been black-listed
Don't ask for Mr. Cheney
He's too sick and twisted

I'll make you squirm
and squeal with delight
the neighbors will hear us
all through the night

So don't ask for Rhonda
Don't ask for Kathleen
Don't ask for Shlomo
Or for Mr. Clean

Don't ask for rainy day people
They only love you when it's raining
Don't ask for the plumber
You know it's too draining

Don't ask for sex tapes
No classy or trashy 'uns
What more do you need
To see of the Kardashians?

Don't ask for Yoda
Don't ask for the Klingons
Don't be that person
My dog wants to pee on

When you call my number
Be ready to get your freak on

I guarantee you
we will fit like a glove

When you call my number
Just ask for LOVE !



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28 comments:

  1. lissaSeptember 15, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    amusing! I think I'm happier by having these words. thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lissaSeptember 15, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    oops, I forgot a word. I meant "I'm happier by having READ these words. thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. MaggieSeptember 15, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    Well, where's the card?

    Hmm... Rhonda, as in help me...? Kathleen?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brian MillerSeptember 15, 2011 at 9:17 PM

    ha...some fun touches through out...who could understand yoda any way...much less Klingons....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mystic_MomSeptember 16, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    I think I'm in love...this is just too funny and has some bite too! :-) You rock my friend and are only too right about the plumber!

    ReplyDelete
  6. TimoteoSeptember 16, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    LISSA,
    As long as you're happy, I'm happy.

    THINGY,
    Pick a card...any card.

    BRIAN,
    Those Klingons...always so clingy.

    MYSTIC MOM,
    Thanks...and you know what to ask for!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousSeptember 16, 2011 at 11:01 PM

    This made me chuckle. Kept up the pace all the way through.

    My entry

    http://respectandacceptance.wordpress.com/2011/02/14/you-choose/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jenne' R. Andrews September 16, 2011 at 11:08 PM

    Ah, this unerring wit, my friend-- a clever and enjoyable write in a sea of seriousness, yes?

    I think you know if the stars were right I'd ask for some LOVE. xxxj

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sherry Blue SkySeptember 17, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    I LOVE this, as I love all your writing. Love the "get your freak on"!! And all of the dont asks.......hee hee.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousSeptember 17, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    lol dont ask for all the others the chances are slim just ask for the love man his name is TIM great poem made me smile xxjen

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  11. AnonymousSeptember 18, 2011 at 9:47 PM

    Ha-ha-ha! That was cute. xoXox

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  12. LorraineSeptember 19, 2011 at 4:20 AM

    awww that's fantastic Tim lol

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Noiseless CuckooclockSeptember 19, 2011 at 6:35 AM

    very fun word play.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. EvelynSeptember 19, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    ok lets see if I can remember the number...
    1-900...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis HallSeptember 19, 2011 at 11:15 AM

    fabulous piece.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ann LeFloreSeptember 19, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    This gave me a good laugh and the pace was strong all the way to the end keep up the good work love reading your posts.
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/19/my-world/#comment-925

    ReplyDelete
  17. TimoteoSeptember 19, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    JEN,
    Ah yes, those damn stars.

    SHERRY,
    Getting your freak ON may be misleading, cuz it usually involves taking something off!

    JENNY,
    "The Love Man." I like that. From now on, I think that's what y'all should call me!

    LORRAINE,
    You know my name...now get my number...

    EVELYN,
    You're getting warm...

    RESPECTANDACCEPTANCE, KAY SALADY, CUCKOOCLOCK, CELLO STRINGS, ANN:
    You all are so sweet...da LOVE man has a special group rate for you!

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousSeptember 20, 2011 at 6:43 AM

    I love poems about love, and this is a great one! Love is THE answer! Nicely done!
    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/fragile-cloth-2/

    ReplyDelete
  19. Pat HattSeptember 20, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    I just don't want to ask altogether so I won't call and ask at all..haha

    ReplyDelete
  20. hedgewitchSeptember 20, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    My freak fell off a long time ago, but I'm likin the concept here.

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousSeptember 20, 2011 at 5:29 PM

    Don't be that person
    My dog wants to pee on

    sweeeeeeeeeeet!

    a mega blast with some subtle shades hidden under the riot

    arron shilling

    ReplyDelete
  22. ayalaSeptember 20, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    just ask for love...perfect!!!!!!
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Brian MillerSeptember 20, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    hahaha...it was worth the stop back in for OLN...thanks for the smiles man...

    ReplyDelete
  24. UnknownSeptember 20, 2011 at 7:33 PM

    Just ask for love, huh? Funny and entertaining as always :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Maxwell Mead Williams Robinson BarrySeptember 20, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    witty hints.
    love your expressions.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. PatriciaSeptember 20, 2011 at 8:06 PM

    what a fun write/read... you are bringing the smiles tonight! =)

    ReplyDelete
  27. ^.^September 21, 2011 at 6:57 AM

    Wonderful catnip ... I like ... will be back for more ... Lov, cat.

    ReplyDelete
  28. TeresaSeptember 27, 2011 at 7:09 PM

    I've so missed your wonderful poetry! Don't know why it's been so long to stop by and enjoy your wicked sense of truthful humor.

    ReplyDelete

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