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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

ADJUSTABLE WENCH










I'm looking for an adjustable wench.

One that when the grip feels
a little too tight
it can be backed off some
and when it's too loose
it can be tightened some too.

Seems all the ones
I've handled lately
are pretty set
in their ways,
and when I rotate them
a hundred and eighty degrees--
trying to get just the right angle,
they pop off
LOUDLY.
Seems they only like
certain positions
and it's
hard
to get their heads
back into the task
at hand.

I looked for one
at the hardware store
but the lady there
just gave me a funny stare.

But I need me
an adjustable wench
to get these nuts off properly,
because sometimes my arm
can get pretty tired
trying to do that.

One I can lay down
next to me
and know will stay put
while I take out my screwdriver
to finish the job.

OOPS!
Why looka there...
seems that in my haste
to finish this poem
I omitted an "r"
here and there
in certain...uh... critical spots...

I can be such a tool sometimes!

But now that it's posted
let me know if I should bother
going back and sticking them in..
or if you think you get my drift, anyway.







50 comments:

  1. Message received. Loud and clear, lol. Oh, how I wonder what you are like in real life. I often imagine who people really are on the other side of this screen. You are one I really wonder about. Ha-ha. :)

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  2. LORI,
    Once you get to know me, you'll see that I'm just a sweet, lovable guy with an "offbeat" sense of humor!

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  3. I wonder about you too, you dawg. horn dawg. Adjustable wench, your tired arm, popping off loudly-- well, what do you expect. xxxa romp-- well done! xxj

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  4. This was a wrenching read, Timoteo. Well done!

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  5. JEN,
    I'm just a horn dawg
    chomping on a corn dog
    made out of tofu
    cuz it's more healthy for you

    Come pet the horn dawg
    he's a prince, not a frog
    and give 'im a litle skin
    cuz he likes to lick the hand that feeds him

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  6. BUBBA,
    Thanks! And you are spot on because I wrenched my back while I was writing it!

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  7. I can always count on you for a laugh. I like that you show the fun you can have with a poem.

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  8. Oh, dear, you scared Lori. LOL.

    You are a clever and naughty boy.

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  9. Well, I took it a slightly different way and I think I will stick with that. Very clever though! Good to meet you.

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  10. MAUREEN,
    Glad you enjoyed my innocent fun!

    THINGY,
    Or just a bad speller...you buy that?

    ZOE,
    Pleased to meetcha, ma'm!

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  11. fun read on a friday night...happy weekend ~

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  12. lol...dont wear yourself out waiting for just the right one...tear a rotator cuff and you are done for...smiles.

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  13. Ya know I was a wrench turner for years in the Navy- worked with quite a few who omitted the R

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  14. I found this reminded me of ee cumming's the Brand. Great write!

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  15. you're a genius...rrrrrrr lol

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  16. hi thanks for visit im pleased you called by i hope you will again ive added you to my blog roll so i can call by and read more have a great weekend xxjen

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  17. SEAN,
    "...give her the juice good..."
    Yeah, old e e liked to play with metaphor!

    BRIAN,
    Good advice! Just like a pitcher, you gotta give it a rest for a few days!

    MOONDUST,
    Hi, sailor...new in town?

    LORRAINE,
    A fine line between genius and madness...LOL!

    HEAVEN,
    You are Heaven on earth!

    JENNY,
    Thank you, dark lady!

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  18. Oh my! That poem reminds me of my husband's wonderfully twisted sense of humor! Wonderful, I laughed, read it outloud and shook my head. That hardware store lady must LOVE you! :-)

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  19. MYSTIC MOM,
    Hee hee...welcome aboard!

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  20. ha ha ha ha good one, love the double entendre. Enjoy the potluck!!!

    http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/indifferent/

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  21. That is funny stuff. Very well done funny stuff!

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  22. Funny and well written, this piece made me smile on a cloudy day :)

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  23. That is hilarious. I know many people of the male persuasion who would be very interested in an adjustable wench. You ARE a character. LOL.

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  24. lol message concieved opps recieved lol loved it my body work needs seeing to now and again hey on my car xxjen

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  25. BLACKSWAN, LYNNAIMA, BOOGULOO, MARBLES, JEANIMCBAIN:

    Hey, you know how much guys are into their tools!

    SELMA,
    Thanks, my dear. We all have to make adjustments now and then!

    JENNYGOTH,
    See me...I'm a body work specialist!

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  26. i will consider a respray lol thanks for visit tim xxjen

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  27. Very clever play on... words! LOL

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  28. I get your drift
    Your playful rift
    Even if you want to be a tool
    I can't make fun as I'm a rhyming fool..haha

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  29. haha fun to dip back in again...hows the shoulder?

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  30. You are so adorably disgusting, it's endearing. Bet that usually works well with your w(r)enches.

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  31. DAYDREAMERTOO,BRIAN:
    The shoulder's holding up so far!
    PAT HATT
    You may not have the reason, but you sure got the rhyme...lol!

    HEDGEWITCH,
    That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

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  32. I was gong to say, a typo! a typo! then I realized it wasn't, and then you confirmed it.

    Great poem.

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  33. You are hiLARious, and this poem is perfect! Loved it!

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  34. EVELYN,
    I've always wanted for you to GET it! LOL

    GLYNN,
    A typo--that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

    SHERRY,
    Always nice to see you--new hairdo is pretty cool, right folks?

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  35. I always have a good laugh when I visit here.

    You're smooth...real smooth!

    I'm here:
    The Evening Wind

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  36. Have to be hard as nails not to like this poem. Fun! Hope your quest for the proper wench or improper wench comes to fruition LOL

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  37. really? aww Timoteo...
    thats sweet. I think...
    ;)
    guess I'm off to find someone to give it to me.
    lol

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  38. EVELYN,
    Look no further ;)

    EMERALDCITY,
    I like the way you pound your point home!

    ANDY,
    Not as smooth as you, my man--the poetry world's Barry White!

    WAYSIDEWORDGARDEN,
    Thanks--hope your garden continues to grow!

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  39. hmm...
    I'm off to browse you, see if you have it.
    unless you have the proof IN hand ;)

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  40. RIVER,
    So nice to hear...hee hee.

    EVELYN,
    Yes...you see I'm a hands on kind of guy!

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  41. I'd like to meet a guy who isnt.
    and also, a flying pig...

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  42. EVELYN,
    If I were a flying pig, I could flap over there and oink you (oh, my goodness--I'm omitting letters again!)

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  43. Give me a B!
    (yes, I'm shaking pom poms)

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  44. EVELYN,
    I can see it now...the whole squad cheering us on!
    (With the chant: WHAT DOES THAT SPELL? WHAT DOES THAT SPELL?)

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