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Saturday, March 19, 2011

WAITING GAME (a pantoum)








I have led a life of great anticipation...
trading the hours of my days for the digits in a ledger--
biding my time; buying into the myth of security in numbers
and always believing that love was just around the corner.

Trading the hours of my days for that which gave me pleasure,
I languished in lobbies and watched the women of the world walk by,
assured the law of averages was in my corner--
a lonely sojourner playing the waiting game.

Watching the worldly women walk by,
I lobbied for a glance or a smile--
a lonely sojourner playing the waiting game,
still convinced that love was just around the corner.

And so, with a glance or a smile,
once in a while one would come my way--
curious, as she was, to see if love was just around the corner,
and for a while we'd fill the empty space with laughter.

Yes, now and then one would come my way,
but in the end those who wait are never waiting for each other--
mindful, as they are, of love that's just around the corner,
leaving just an empty space and the memory of laughter.

And near the end, those who wait will always hold a place for one another--
finding, as they do, a kind of purity in numbers,
trying to fill some empty space with memories and laughter...
leading lives of great anticipation.

30 comments:

  1. Oh this is very relatable, for us solitary though romantic hermits. Love the repetition, and the feeling of anticipation, along with the memories of laughter. Wonderful, Timoteo.

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  2. Jeez, I want to cry. I want to laugh.

    I did both.

    You sure know how to hit a nerve. : ( : )

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  3. This is real,
    it is how a woman would feel
    most of the time,
    awesome capture of moments of pondering and more..

    refreshing image in comparison with your previous post.

    Thanks for sharing.
    A++

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  4. So well-executed. I really like that form (have never tried it) and you created a myriad of feelings: anticipation, loneliness, sadness, hope.

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  5. Ditto Victor (liv2write2day) - can't really add to that.

    Well done. Your work is always "well executed."

    Enjoy Potluck visits and visitors.

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  6. Timoteo,

    Very nice piece -- good manipulation of the form!

    Trulyfool

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  7. Brilliantly put- very poignant. I for one, feel that I am eternally waiting. Nice poem- thanks. :)

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  8. love it! here's mine.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/paper-scribbles/

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  9. Wow beautiful. Sometimes I suppose, it is important to be proactive!

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  10. How can I tell you the poem is well written and true while the words are slashing and ripping? Repetition and mixtures of laughing and crying keep this poem flowing. well done!

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  11. This left me with a lump in my throat. So, beautifully expressed...how true.

    http://absolutepalaver.wordpress.com/2011/03/22/life/

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  12. You effectively and eloquently squeezed a lifetime of emotion and experience into a few stanzas, while maintaining a writer's integrity. Job well done.

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  13. Ah the power of numbers... and calculating a life is what one not always expects to be, but what the h.life is what it is

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  14. you certainly play our emotions turning back through the song forming knots then untying them...

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  15. I like the way you've used the form to spin out the tale, spin it back, and then take it somewhere ultimately beyond just waiting, to arrival. I've found this form daunting in the extreme--you play with it like a rubik's cube master. Excellent piece, and true words, as well.

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  16. What a wonderful poem. I just love the way you can weave a tale that draws me in. Waiting for what is always just around the corner--very nice.

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  17. Okay, you've done it now, Tim. You've broken my heart.

    What a beautiful wonderful bittersweet poem.

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  18. Damn! I think I know that feeling. I've been invisible most of my life and I feel like all I did as a kid was sit on the edge of the playground and watch the kids do games I didn't understand like Hopscotch but was too shy to ask how. I still feel that way, like an observer. That was beautiful and I think you struck a note for everyone.

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  19. Getting a little deep there T - I dig it.

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  20. Life doesn't belong to those who sign up, life belongs to those who show up. Nice one, Timoteo!

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  21. JOY,
    You do know that means a lot, coming from you!

    TALON,
    I guess we're even...you broke my heart with that cat poem a while back--remember the one?

    AUTUMNFOREST,
    Thanks so much. I wasn't very good at hopscotch either...now LEAPFROG, that's another story!

    BUBBA,
    That's encouraging...I usually do at least show up...LOL

    SHERRY, THINGY, JINGLE, LIVE2WRITETODAY, JAMI, TRULYFOOL, JAMES, FIVELOAF, TESTINGTRUECHANGE, DAN, ABSOLUTEPALAVER, KIM, DULCE, BRIAN, TERESA,
    OLLIE...thanks for your beautiful comments!

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  22. Loved it a bunch. To begin and end with the thought of a life anticipating was something that got to me and could relate to. We're always told that "the one" is coming and I thought you got it best with "love around the corner" said over and over again. Good poem.

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  23. "...but in the end those who wait are never waiting for each other--
    mindful, as they are, of love that's just around the corner,
    leaving just an empty space and the memory of laughter.


    And near the end, those who wait will always hold a place for one another--
    finding, as they do, a kind of purity in numbers,
    trying to fill some empty space with memories and laughter...
    leading lives of great anticipation."

    I almost quoted the whole poem to tell you I like what you wrote in this poem. Using pantoum with its meter and rhyme proves to be an effective form for your thoughts. Thanks for sharing them!

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  24. I'm the 'Anonymous' writer of the comment above, Tim. Somewhow, my URL is invalidated here. Alegria (jornales.wordpress.com)

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  25. Uh oh I've been negligent, so sorry, I'll be back later to read for I'm sure is another of your spectacular write-up

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  26. I think K said, "bittersweet"
    and as I repeat
    I think I'll say "bittersweet"

    As always, Timoteo! _m

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  27. Exceptionally written. I've never waited. I found that only fairy tales are true. If you die like Romeo and Juliette, In love...you will never stop...

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  28. wow - there's a lot emotions and realness in this - read it three times and each time, it seems to go deeper..

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  29. What a beautiful poem, Tim.. the wistfulness and longing and the part-resignation-part-acceptance was really artfully expressed here..

    "curious, as she was, to see if love was just around the corner,
    and for a while we'd fill the empty space with laughter." -- i LOVED the imagery in these lines... really well written!

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  30. Oooh, ouch, ouch, yes. What a wonderful exact way you have of saying things other people would think they couldn't. I'm still waiting *sigh*.

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