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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

MATERIAL WITNESS









I saw you again
at the last red light
the girl on the billboard
flagging a ride
to catch a flight

But all wings
to the City Of Angels
were grounded by fog
so we taxied around
until we found
a cheap room

There were clean sheets
but no Bible

You kissed me awake
with your haunted eyes
ran your hands
down my worn Levis

We poured the wine
and talked about how it feels
to
be
frozen
in
time

You said: How is it effected
this transformation
from image to cell?
I said: I learned it once
in a madhouse
just a place we called hell
and you're a material witness

With the dawn
a woman's voice
singing an ancient tune

Your picture in the paper
an apparent suicide
from the east side
of the river

The girl on the billboard
at the last red light
the fog had lifted
at last she made her flight





34 comments:

  1. what a sad tale...have had a few friends that have taken their life despite it all...nice flow to your words...nice one shot!

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  2. Sad!!! That was good, sad but good!!

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  3. Great poignant tale.

    nice Once shot!

    :)

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  4. Very good & thoughtful. I thought the ending was quite nostalgic in its way.

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  5. Poems like this make one gasp and hope for the everything to be ok.
    Powerful but too real

    A powerful One Shot

    Just a reminder that we would love you to enter the One Stop Competition (ends oct 22).

    Moon Smiles

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  6. A beautifully sad story. Love the repetition of the last stanza that brings the poem full circle. Really effective, touches the heart.

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  7. sad :( and beautiful, I love the line... to
    be
    frozen
    in
    time

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  8. Very sad, but skillfully written.

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  9. Great title, and wonderful anchoring of narrative with metaphors of fog and flight.

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  10. What an incredibly sad poem, beautifully told.

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  11. Oh is it really sad?- it really is life daily on many streets and roads across the country, a girl, a road, a man - and a room with no Bible..you paint a picture of a reality many close their eyes too and you do it so well...thank you for sharing...bkm

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  12. Edgy, dark, cosmic - frozen in time - "this transformation from image to cell" gives it such a film noir quality. I like it. Great writing. Thanks Gay @beachanny

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  13. Thanks EVERYONE for your comments...I've always been curious as to how readers would interpret this one, and I see that there is some variation...COOL!

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  14. I remember reading it before Tim...that was like an art movie; slow paced with all vital and not so vital ingredrients, and an absent Bible -- truly speaking we are all material witnesses of our own lives, many a times -

    But we have emerged as better people, i guess :)
    other than this loud self talk -- you know i love reading your poems-even if thats more than once, Tim :)

    wishes,

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  15. Stirring poem with a heartbreaking ending. Cheers

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  16. Beautiful story... and haunting one at that... I loved the way you have used many metaphors in the verse... I enjoyed it throughly...
    Clean sheets - no bibles... Now I wonder whether it was deliberately...missing....perfect

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/

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  17. I too found the melancholy culminating in the morning's light, but really was it all in his head? Was it sad, as the flight was made? Freedom in an ancient tune that rings out. Dreams eternal in this excellent piece.

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  18. I'm jealous of how interesting your life must be - or must have been - and how well you tell the tale. Another stellar One Shot, Timoteo!

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  19. for a moment i thought it was your performance in the sack!!! a very well written sad piece...and yes the mound was what you thought!!! happy one shot pete

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  20. DEVIKA,
    You have a good memory...I will sometimes recycle a poem (if it originally appeared about a year or so ago)for the benefit of my new readers. Hope you are doing well!

    KKRIGE,
    Was it in his head? That is open to interpretation--or speculation--and I often like to leave it that way... :)

    PETE,
    Hmmm...my "performance" could have driven one or two to jump off a bridge, now that think about it! Ha ha.

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  21. Such a good poem, sad and haunting. And all to real. nice One Shot.

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  22. well, I'm well, Tim, just as a frog in the well!

    [on the fish-to-frog evolution pathway:)]

    wishes,
    devika

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  23. Ah, I thought it seemed familiar. That 'splains it.

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  24. DEVIKA,
    Or snug as a bug in a rug, as they say around these here parts.

    KOBICO,
    I see you're a fan of Mickey 'Splain.

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  25. haha! As You Like It, Tim :)

    Now, gotta go Goa!

    wishes,
    devika

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  26. As always, Tim, your writing paints such clear images...the people come alive (or, in some cases, they perish)...but they seem very real.

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  27. full on emotions, you don't mess around...

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  28. To Brian,Cindy, Gaabriela, Steve, Tuberider, Moondust, Sherry, Tuti, River, Suzicate,G-Man, Maureen,Teresa, BKM, Devika, Kobico, Dustus, Shashi, Eric, Pete, Patti Ken, Talon, Lorraine:

    THANKS DUDES! Much appreciated!

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  29. Ah..Tim, sad..but very well written..you never cease to surprise me , love it!

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  30. DESERT ROSE,
    Thanks so much my dahlink!

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  31. Reading about the lows...maybe can help keep it from happening to another...

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