Thursday, January 17, 2019
A FITTING END
I wasn't born into sin.
I created that for myself
and had a damn good time at it,
thank you.
Oh, you'll be happy to learn
that here--the Las Vegas
of the solar system
(if not the galaxy)--
what happens on earth
stays on earth.
So 'ave at it boys and girls--
everything's permitted.
How do I know?
Because it exists!
HA!
And to think at one time
I wanted to be a squid farmer.
So maybe I missed my calling
but in my present role of
guru/ philosopher and Certified
Bra Fitter, I can serve the world
on dual levels.
A fragment in time
becomes a fragment
in your poem.
String enough fragments together
and voila!
The question being should there be
a unifying thread?
Is there a unifying thread
that runs through your shirt?
(That's some nice threads, man!)
Einstein looked and looked
for a unified theory of the universe.
He never found it.
So my advice to you is to
go out there and be the best
squid farmer you can be.
And leave these larger questions
of life to us professionals.
And I do hope you'll come
in for a fitting soon.
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ReplyDeleteThe earth is flat
The earth is round
but what does that mean
that 1kg makes one pound?
single/ bi is not anymore
now it's LGBTQ, and
rainbow 2 da core
so trump it up
and trump it down
the towers fell and the
wall goes up it makes no difference
in the end spittoons
are wanted to the
bitter end
china and japan
eat cats and dogs and
live fish and we buy cheap
material right from their tisch
our children are tainted
and are fighting on
i love U tom
and jerry
and
john.
Your poem is a true classic! Funny and profound. Nice follow-up to mime!
ReplyDeleteAlso appreciate the spittoon reference, as you know I'm the Assistant To The Assistant To The Assistant Spittoon Cleaner.
Ha! What fun in straying from the goal of being a squid farmer, with all the fancies and strange profundities taking shape right before our eyes.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! Glad you had fun with it, which was my intent.
Delete"A fragment in time becomes a fragment in your poem," that is so true! We usually write what lies around inside the subconscious mind. 💖
ReplyDeleteExactly. And there's so much lying around in there!
DeleteCertified bra fitters should only be promoted to assistant-to-assistant-to-assistant spittoon cleaners.
ReplyDeleteYa got me there! Ha ha ha ha...I agree!
DeleteI enjoyed your poem so much and the bonus poem in the comments is perfect. I so enjoyed the exchange.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sherry. Are we havin' fun yet? I think I am...but then I'm out of my mind.
DeleteI wonder... somehow I would prefer to be a bra fitter than a squid farmer.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking that very same thing!
DeleteA Frank Zappa wanted to be a dental floss farmer! Very zany (a funny word).
ReplyDeleteThere's not much market for used dental floss--it's kind of a one time thing. Squid, on the other hand, you can raise as pets and keep them around!
DeleteThis makes me think of Tom Robbins. Maybe I should give up garlic and be a squid farmer!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Yvonne. If you do, let me know if it's profitable!
DeleteBreast taper to the super models is what I would like to be, fulfilling, exciting and enough of a unifying theory in my book. This was really funny. You come up with the best stuff.
ReplyDeleteThat's high praise. Am so glad you liked it!
Delete*snort* Now I'm craving calamari
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're snorting, cuz if you look up at the top of the page, it says "snort it up your snout!"
DeleteGood point about being the best at what you can be, I... without any doubt, make the best chocolate milkshakes in the world and like the stain glass makers of the Renaissance period and the Stradivarius, the secret will die with me.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had known you in high school because that was essentially my diet right there!
DeleteThe whole point of trying to be your best is that if you don't you will spent an eternity regretting it...where I am sure there are better things to do.
ReplyDeleteI love it when you wax philosophically!
ReplyDeleteI'd very much like to be a squid farmer...I really love this style of poem and how well you've expressed it. :)
ReplyDeleteMuch appreciated, my friend!
DeleteLove the irreverence in this!
ReplyDeleteThanks! That's my middle name!
DeleteSeveral giggles, three chuckles and a guffaw on the fun meter. Your "Bra Fitter" reference (but seriously, as the husband of a buxom lady, I've found pro bra fitters to be essential--tool many women wear ill-fitting bras)is like work at the Fish factory; most junior baiters hope to become master baiters
ReplyDeleteOh, thanks much! Most of us have made that transition to master--guffaw...the ill-fitting bras, I know...there was a lean period for me in the seventies when women didn't wear any...but now I'm back in business!
Delete"Oh, you'll be happy to learn
ReplyDeletethat here--the Las Vegas
of the solar system
(if not the galaxy)--
what happens on earth
stays on earth."
Brilliant, fun, and delightful all rolled into one. I need a T-shirt with that on it.
What happens on earth, stays on earth...I think that would work on a shirt--lol
DeleteNice lines: "what happens on earth
ReplyDeletestays on earth."
Or we can wish it were so, eh? I think we will soon be exporting our pollution to other planets.
DeleteThis was brilliantly witty Timoteo! my smile grew as I read. Certified bra fitter serving the world on "dual" levels ... indeed... :-) The question about unifying thread - yes there should be, otherwise it becomes a scattering of cats, and you know what chaos that is...
ReplyDeleteThank you, my friend. Cats should definitely be observed by anyone who is studying Chaos Theory!
DeleteBra fitters have changed my life, to find someone who can work with you in a difficult situation and treat you respectfully and help you find solutions and help you feel confident and autonomous in your body and in the world requires actually a special person, and not everyone who tries is good at that. I am not sure that everything that happens on earth stays on earth, actions and relationships spin into the billions of otherworldly galaxies and alternative universes located between each set of ears, and fed by each heart. Interesting that a few of the gentlemen commenters are interested in the profession, I have to wonder if they would serve the world better providing the Calamari, a bra fitter has to understand vulnerability without circumstantial requisition. The key to your unified theory is that we are all the thread.
ReplyDelete"What happens on earth stays on earth," is of course a play on What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas--it doesn't...people go home and tell their stories, but it's a good advertising slogan. But it's the idea that you can do what you want and get away with it, which is exactly our attitude toward the earth, and look where it's gotten us. As to the bra fitting, practice makes perfect...but if not, the practice is its own reward! Thank you for another poetical response!
DeleteAmusing and very squidish!
ReplyDeleteAt least it wasn't squeamish, eh?
Delete