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Tuesday, March 17, 2020

ALONE TOGETHER



My life's work
as assistant
to the assistant
to the assistant
spittoon cleaner
has been interrupted

I've been told not to come
to work
as we are practicing
social distancing
but I can't properly do my job
from home
anybody can see that

so I implore you
for the sake of the country
to bypass the spittoons until
we get a handle on this thing

nobody likes a spittoon
that is filled to the brim with
cigarette butts and all kind of
green slime

the preferred way to expectorate
is to stop your car at the red light
open the driver's side door
lean down
and hock that big loogie
right onto the pavement
the other drivers behind you
really appreciate this

you'll feel good that you've
done your part for America
as we're all in this together...

alone

21 comments:

  1. I can imagine what those other drivers are thinking.

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    1. Frank--I see it all the time around here. From men and women.I don't know who raised these people...:)

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  2. When I run out of kleenex, it ain't going to be pretty.

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    Replies
    1. Along with the toilet paper hoarding, there has also been a spike in gun sales. After all, you need something to protect your stash of TP, right?

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  3. Spit and spittoons have never been sanitary We are all alone together all over the world. How strange!

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    Replies
    1. It's a good time to get in touch with yourself.

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  4. The best way of acting together is being alone... kind of irony isn't it?

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    Replies
    1. We've hit upon the key to the survival of the human race. Stay the hell away from each other! :)

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  5. What can I do but smile at your sardonic take on What to Do in a Time of Plague?

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for taking the pill. It's a much less bitter one than what many others are trying to get you to swallow.

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  6. It's OK to take a break from spittoon cleaning. Actually, the contents are far more delicious after they've mellowed awhile anyway. Yumilicious poem, T.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Ron! You have an appreciation for spittoons that goes far deeper than the average person :)

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  7. How disgusting...I think people fear spending time with themselves. The revelations may get ugly...Save the country by staying alone. I never thought I'd hear that slogan.

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    Replies
    1. Learn to love your spittoon and you really don't need anybody else :)

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  8. __ My wife Kathy and I, have enjoyed our companionship of forty years; that sharing of time is irreplceable.

    In today's pandemic:
    __ Using just two squares of toilet tissue, I then sing ... "Happy Birthday"... twice.

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    Replies
    1. I've heard you're supposed to get three squares a day. You may be shorting yourself. Hope you are both well and...happy birthday!

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. Only you!!! And that is my supreme compliment. Stay well.

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    Replies
    1. That IS the supreme compliment! I'd kiss your feet if I could bend down that far.

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