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Monday, February 10, 2014

MY FUNKY VALENTINE (with apologies to Rodgers & Hart!)




My funky valentine
Reading the comics valentine
Oh, where oh where do I start?

Your looks are laughable
Yet, I'm so affable
I'm just gonna call you abstract art

Oh, your figure's less than chic
And your nose looks like a beak
When you speak
You're speaking Greek
To me-eee

You don't comb your hair for me
There's a pubic hair in my tea
What does it matter to me?

Each day is Valentine's Day

Of your figure I can't speak
A less than noteworthy physique
And there's an odor from your feet
That sets you apar-arrrt.

But don't wash your hair for me
Or change your underwear for me
Stay funky, valentine, stay...

Each day is Valentine's--
unless it's Groundhog,
President's, Saint Patrick's,
April Fool's, Mother's,
Father's, Columbus, or Labor...
Da-eeeyyy

54 comments:

  1. Hee hee, hilarious - the pubic hair in the tea, though, that was the BEST!!!!!!!! Yikes!

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  2. I love this-- quite hilarious-- who wants hairy tea? Funky, for sure! xxxJenne'

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  3. Tim, this is too good! Funky Valentine - with a lot of 'fun' in the funk.

    And you know I sang this to the tune! It worked perfectly :)

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  4. This is priceless. I do have to object to not changing the underwear, though. LOL.

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  5. SHERRY,
    Depends on how fussy a tea drinker one is, eh?

    JEN,
    Hairy tea
    Oh my, oh me
    I think perhaps
    That's not for me

    TALON,
    Yes, I tried to follow the rhythm of the original song--more or less-thanks for noticing!

    LORRAINE,
    Happy VD to you too, my sweet! (no, don't go there...)LOL

    SELMA,
    Some of us just have rigid standards, I guess!!!

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  6. Cute and Handsome Piece.

    So precious to read this.
    Cheers.

    A++

    Happy V Day.
    You Deserve LOVE!

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  7. Ha! I guess love is blind and smelly.

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  8. Valentine's day is about hearts,
    Not about all the other parts,
    But you've got a real Valentine there,
    With unwashed clothes and pubic hair,
    A lot of fun with someone so spunky,
    Enjoy the whole year feeling great, er funky.

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  9. It had me rolling. I loved it.

    http://timkeen40.wordpress.com

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  10. THINGY,
    Spot on! How come they never include the smelly part when they say love is blind?

    DAN,
    You win the award for best poem posted as a comment!!!

    Thanks JINGLE, THINGY, DAN!

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  11. ayayay! thanks for making me smile! :)

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  12. haha timoteo- you made me laugh so hard! happy valentines.. here’s mine.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/05/11/happily-tied/

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  13. Cracked me totally up, my friend. These are the songs that need to be written, I tell ya.

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  14. hahahahha...awesome!! Have you seen those Progressive insurance commercials (the ones with their star "Flo" in them)?
    Well...if she were to sing a V Day song, it would be something like this! I love Flo!! And I totally DIG this poem!! :D

    (smiles and hugs)

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  15. Oh Mr Funky valentine, you slay. Hope that you saw the chunks in the tea before sipping. Happy Day to you.

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  16. KAVITA,
    I can definitely see "Flo" singing this, as in reality she is comedian Stephanie Courtney!

    KKRIGE,
    Not exactly what you'd call a little "hair o' the dog," but that depends on your definition of dog!
    BENDEDSPO0ON, FIVELOAF, OGUNGBESAN MICHAEL, STEVE, HEDGEWITCH...Thanks all...I see you're quite the "romantics" as well!

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  17. how nice! i enjoyed your funky valentine.. and yep..love makes not only blind but also...smiles

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  18. This was fun! Thanks for sharing it!

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  19. ha ah ha
    cute you!
    I love each part of it...theres no waste on it
    Brilliant Thanks for this fun
    Yes valentine's- what the heck

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  20. Oh brillant....enjoy your tea ...a really fun read...indeed...bkm

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  21. ha you know what...i cant help but think you got the perfect valentine for you...smiles.

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    Replies
    1. smiles...thought i had been here....fun piece...lol.
      i guess you know it is love then eh?

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  22. What a blast! I just always enjoy reading your poetry.

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  23. I never thought you were much of a singer before, but now I know for certain. (LOL!)

    Another hilarious piece, Timoteo! Delightful!

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  24. Great lines and unless its other day.. its good for Valentine... I enjoyed it so much. Thanks for sharing...

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-night-along-sea.html
    Twitter @VerseEveryDay

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  25. Hello, Thanks for the love to Poetry Potluck! You Rock!

    Awards 4 Poetry Potluck Week 22, Enjoy!

    Your contribution means a world to us, Happy Thursday!
    See you next time!
    xoxox

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  26. CLAUDIA, GERRY, POEMBLAZE. DULCE, HEDGEWITCH, BKM, BRIAN, RIVER, ERIC, SHASHI, JINGLE: Love y'all...if it made you laugh, then drinking that tea was worth it!!!

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  27. A sweet sweet Valentine - tea and all. The imagery was enough to send someone to the shower, very witty, humorous. I am a very visual person and I have to admit this caught me off guard, now all day I will be checking my tea cup......

    joanny

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  28. JOANNY,
    I wonder what that particular cup of tea would mean to one who reads tea leaves! LOL
    GABRIELA,
    Great to hear from you!

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  29. This is funny, hits a little too close to home....but what's an old gal gonna do but cackle!

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  30. Ah, Timo--ever the romantic! (Ooops--looks like Kerry beat me to that line--still...).I personally abstain from Valentine's Day unless it involves chocolates. Thank you for the portrait of most of my exes--and I love the 'abstract art' line.

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  31. that last verse is definitely my favorite… puts the whole silly nonsense into perspective!

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  32. true, no season for love............

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  33. The days. Often... 'Valentines Days,' lead to 'Labor Days.' _m

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  34. love this, love the song, love your version.
    (actually my favorite version of this song, i mean until yours came along, was sung by Rickie Lee Jones, have you heard that?)
    happy V-D, Timo. :)

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  35. MAMA ZEN: Thanks. Great to hear from you!:

    KERRY: Yes, a true romantic...bu what can you do?

    SHERRY: You are great--and cackling is the desired result!

    KIM: Just like the song, eh? Which I like a lot.

    HEDGEWITCH: Most of your exes...ha ha ha! Since you are in Oklahoma, do all your exes live in Texas?

    LAURA: Thank you for THAT perspective!

    VANDANA: Good to see you here again.

    MAGYAR: Valentine's Day leads to "Labor Day"...guffaw...but how true, I'm sure!

    MARIAN: Haven't heard that version, but I will look for it. I always liked her style. Happy VD to you too...er...I think?

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  36. just love the word funky... I thought I was the only one who used it

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  37. Evidence of a sound and healthy relationship - who would not love this?

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  38. That's what I call love. oo)

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  39. Wonderful fun! That certainly must be true love!

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  40. Thanks for the giggle this morning, I needed that.

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