MY FUNKY VALENTINE (with apologies to Rodgers & Hart!)

My funky valentine

Reading the comics valentine

Oh, where oh where do I start?

Your looks are laughable

Yet, I'm so affable

I'm just gonna call you abstract art

Oh, your figure's less than chic

And your nose looks like a beak

When you speak

You're speaking Greek

To me-eee

You don't comb your hair for me

There's a pubic hair in my tea

What does it matter to me?

Each day is Valentine's Day

Of your figure I can't speak

A less than noteworthy physique

And there's an odor from your feet

That sets you apar-arrrt.

But don't wash your hair for me

Or change your underwear for me

Stay funky, valentine, stay...

Each day is Valentine's--

unless it's Groundhog,

President's, Saint Patrick's,

April Fool's, Mother's,

Father's, Columbus, or Labor...

Da-eeeyyy