LOVE POEM

Always hated fukken Valentine's Day
cuz you had to git all dressed up 
and show up wit a box of chocolates
under youse arm and 
take her out to dinner
and da whole bit
when what you really wanted to do 
was stay home and watch da basketball game 
in your skivvies
and to make matters worse
a couple weeks later
she ain't even wit you no mo!!!
what kinda deal is dat?

think I got out just in time man
what wit dis war between da sexes
dat's raging today
HEY
I ain't gonna study war no more
so why would I need 
some old battle-axe around???

now I be watchin' da game
and poppin' dem yummy chocolates
into my own face
finally catchin' on
finally wakin' up
to da realization 
at long long last
just how sweet life can be... 

when I'm in love wit me

AFTERWORD

He's just a nondescript dude
 more polite than most
 no need for posturing
at this stage of the game

The one he's not playing

Saw him at the theater
saw him at the school
saw him at the cafe
in the booth
so calm and cool

Think you're a tough guy
and he looks like a pushover
maybe have a little fun
maybe heap some abuse
but you've just drawn to
the worst hand of your life
with the one you never should choose

Talkin bout the man with nothing to lose

Your woman
your job
your booze
will keep you playing the game
by somebody else's rules
and you'll always stop short
of the things he might choose

That man with nothing to lose

Who knows when
the proverbial straw
came into play
suffice it to say
that life has been exposed
as a game for fools
and he is no longer playing
by anyone's rules

When life's no longer
what it seems
you walk along in a dream
a slow motion movie
where there is no sound
and people's eyes appear
to be screaming
and you wonder
in a curious way
if it has anything to do
with you

Saw him at the theater
saw him at the school
saw him at the cafe
in the booth
so calm and cool

And afterward
the afterword
is how did we fail him
but that's easy because
day by day
and each and every day
we shuffle along in a dream
where we wanted to reach out
we had it in our minds
to reach out
we had it on our agenda
to reach out
we had it on our calendar
to reach out
but somehow
we just didn't
and so it's easy to discern
just where we went wrong
my friend
cuz day after day
and each and every day
we
have
all
failed
to
love

SOLITUDE

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Those who love
fiercely and
strongly
often find themselves
wrongly 
wronged
or so it may seem
as opposed to those who
settle
for what presents itself
as a long-term solution
to solitude
which one who loves 
fiercely
eventually learns
is the long-term solution 
to 
two 
(many) wrongs
not making a right 

DAY AT THE PARK

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

From your soapbox
you're out to save the world
your words echoing
through the park
vying with bouncy
norteno tunes blasting from
low rider car stereos

your nebulous forever
built upon a city of hope
hope against hope
when you're dangling
at the end of a rope

but what if I told you
that everything thing we do
is motivated by either
love
or
fear
and that we can easily choose
between them

and that you stem from a long line
of fear mongers
over generations
and generations
of fear mongers
spitting incendiary words
into the air
the fire and brimstone
heating everyone under the tent
into a frenzy of believing

and giving

but material gain has naught to do
with the hereafter
it's has to do with the here and now
and that house upon the hill

and your aim is to be
that guy on Sunday morning TV
sayin' keep those cards and letters
comin' in folks
cuz it takes a lot of jack
to buy the stairway to heaven

so the plate is comin' round
folks
the plate is comin' round
(what's in your wallet?)

ALL THIS WAY

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads











A birthday boy's tendency
is to replay everything
against the purples
and pistachios of spring

The little white lies
from another time

The past receding
like the ass-end of a train
from which you've just disembarked

Ancient phrases
inside another eternity
and of no import now
the greater truths ignored
for sake of our little tete a tetes

Today I ponder the world's disasters
the worst of which is adding another digit
to that chronological catastrophe
I fondly refer to as me

Everyone gets  a raw deal
and still the clouds roll by 

Coming all this way
drifting across the cosmos
with these inconvenient truths 

on these afternoons without angels

and still we stand
in anticipation of one extraordinary love

Having experienced the moon
in a myriad of exotic positions
I unmask poems
of barking cats
and rats
and elephants
and stand revealed 
to lonesome applause

Waiting for Santa Claus
I blaspheme and bubble
in the center of all infinity
as I bend to softly kiss you
and the world becomes 
my oyster
and you're my clam

Let's go to Amsterdam



From my poetry and short story collection: Last Tango In Timbuktu

MOST MEN IN AMERICA

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Outside my window
the raven beckons
to follow him again
as in that kingdom far away
in a time when hoods
of muslin saved our sight
from the diamond in his eye
that blazed like a thousand suns

And wasn't it you
who told me that love
is like a banana
you've got to peel away
the facade

And wasn't it you I saw
seething inside your skin
at the Metropolitan Opera

Grunting like a pig
when the fat lady sang
hooting from the balcony
like a Portuguese pimp
a break with tradition to be sure
running amok till they pinned you down
inside the ladies room

Tempest in a pisspot

And isn't that Miz Chauncey Lee L'Amour
sitting right over there
sucking on her
mint julep
trading tales of the good ol' days
when men were men
and women were horses
and giddyup ol' paint
was the prelude to a kiss

Her entourage
of the rouged and the wrinkled
hanging on her every word
well aware that most men in America
in this year of the locust
in this decade of the plague
would rather be sniffing
through the long abandoned ruins
of an old haunt
than to give up the ghost
to some baby-faced whore

And now my old friend the raven
has moved to Baltimore
where he works as a squeegee man
on certain odd numbered holidays
and plays the guitar
with Eric Clapton
and sometimes Charlie Byrd
while all the sweet young things chant
GO CAT GO!
GO CAT GO!

But well you know
the whole world's a stage
that you're going through
just to get to someplace else
and though they stomp and shout
for another encore
quoth the raven: Ain't no more!

It was a lively time
says Miz Chauncey Lee L'Amour
well aware that most men in America
take their pants off one leg at a time
all grist for a story of some kind
and you know dahling
you really should write it

DEEP THOUGHT # 14

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

I HATE YOU
is a more honest emotion
than
I LOVE YOU
and less subject to change
on a whim

EMINENTLY CLEAR

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Passel of powder blue
dressed to kill
I'll be right up in your grill
like a George Foreman punch
now you're out to lunch
don't worry
it was preordained
without your express
written consent

Tooling around
we took a wrong turn
and BINGO
there's Johnny Sideline!
OH...can we get your autograph, puleeeze?

He says, Why? I'm Johnny Sideline after all.
But we are proud athletic supporters
and we never forget our jocks.
And winning isn't everything
unless you're a loser
boozer
midnight cruiser...

Now we're off  to name a star
hang out in a bar
and Father Time
that two-headed douche bag
I recalled him from Salisbury
now look what he's done.
All he knows
is to go with the flow
on a warm Summer's Eve
but you're a little too January
for me now 
so get stuffed, man
cuz I've made it my mission
to help all those
with chronic constipation
across the Raider Nation.


Oh, silly, silly boy
it's eminently clear 
that you're trying to write your way to Love
but ah...
it looks to be working now

Pain recedes into the distance

And all I need from you
at the moment
is to borrow that smile

SOMEWHERE STILL RINGING

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

He believed
with unswerving conviction
that in a world teeming with souls
surely there'd  be one
just tailor made for him
and that when he found her
the one to share it with
his life would begin for real

And yes there were some
who lingered for a time
but they came and went
like blips on a radar screen
another case of mistaken identity

And all he could do
when each ship of love
crashed and burned
was look away from the carnage
(for he was good at looking away)
and turn to face the bright sun of tomorrow
that surely loomed just around the bend

He did this in the spring
He did this in the summer
He did this in the autumn
With the last leaf still clinging
and somewhere still ringing
was the sound of her voice
calling from the hill

And they would rush
to each other
and his life would begin for real
no more holding back
for lack of inspiration
and he would do all the things
he had no penchant for doing
alone

For only with a sense of purpose
does life begin in earnest
and with each passing day
he knows now for sure
that purpose is her
the one who will stay

Come down in time
he whispers
come down in time
for he knows that time
is slipping away...

And he read the other day
nearly seven billion souls
on this bright blue ball of confusion
whirling in space
and he figures some wires
must have got crossed
and some bridges didn't
and he can't help but wonder
why it's still such a lonely lonely world

SILENCE BETWEEN THE SMILES

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads--dVerse Poets Pub

Slanted plane of window light.
Melted road tar.
Clouds in the shape of Madagascar.
Random stabs at a keyboard.

Oh
do come in please
and we shall schedule you for
summary execution...
unless, of course, you'd rather not--
in which case you are free to
have tea and crumpets
and be on your way--
we do so aim to please.

Life
from within its own murky maze
is a story best read between the lines.
The silence between the smiles
speaks of its halting uncertainty.

Mistress gazes at the wife's picture
and asks do you love her?
Her eyes blink on and off.
Do lies equal kindness?

A man stays with a woman
not out of a sense of loyalty
but out of a sense of continuity.
Change what intrigues him about you
(like your hair, maybe)
and he may not be out the door,
but he'll be slipping out the back window
meeting a short order cook
in short order.

Riding the curve on a ripple.
Legions of dark delights.
Your eyes are divine
like fine boxed wine.

In the autumn I will turn over a new leaf.

GADZOOKS--an ancient evil awakens!
I draw my sword...
m'lady demurs
and buys my false bravado.
They just want someone
to slay the dragon
or at least wave that thing around menacingly.  

Belief without evidence.

Yet some still say "Your Majesty"
to another human being and
manage it with a straight face.

Kilimanjaro--that's majesty.
An old lady sitting on the crapper
 in a funny hat
 she never takes off,
 well...

Photo by Timoteo                                                                        Poetry Picnic   

d'Verse Poets Pub

JUST ASK

Friday Poetry Fest

Poetry Picnic

d'Verse Poets Pub

So here is my card

I hope you'll keep it handy

And when you call my number

Just ask for Love

Don't as for Robert

Don't ask for Bill

Don't ask for Andy

Don't ask for Phil

Don't ask for services

They can't fulfill

When you call my number

Just ask for Love

Don't ask for the doctor

He'll just give you drugs

Get them cheaper on the corner

From your neighborhood thugs

Don't ask for Ms. Anthony

Cuz she's too busy lying

Don't ask for Obama

Cuz he's too busy crying

Don't ask for no truffles

Or them fancy dishes

Don't ask for Osama

Cuz he sleeps with the fishes

Don't ask for Mr. Gibson

Cuz he's been black-listed

Don't ask for Mr. Cheney

He's too sick and twisted

I'll make you squirm

and squeal with delight

the neighbors will hear us

all through the night

So don't ask for Rhonda

Don't ask for Kathleen

Don't ask for Shlomo

Or for Mr. Clean

Don't ask for rainy day people

They only love you when it's raining

Don't ask for the plumber

You know it's too draining

Don't ask for sex tapes

No classy or trashy 'uns

What more do you need

To see of the Kardashians?

Don't ask for Yoda

Don't ask for the Klingons

Don't be that person

My dog wants to pee on

When you call my number

Be ready to get your freak on

I guarantee you

we will fit like a glove

When you call my number

Just ask for LOVE !

photo by Timoteo

I'M GONNA LOVE YOU

For One Shot Wednesday

I'm gonna love you till...

The stars fall from the skies

Till all the lakes and rivers run dry

Till the eyes roll back inside your head

Till all the Osmond Brothers are dead

I'm gonna love you till...

You're weak in the knees

Till Stephen King stops killing all the trees

Till Madonna bares nothing but her soul

Till Santa stops filling my stocking with coal

I'm gonna love you till...

Justin Bieber is an old fuddy-duddy

Till Dick Cheney stop shooting his hunting buddies

Till Ugly Betty takes off those stupid looking glasses

Till gas prices stop kicking our asses

I'm gonna love you till...

I eat some chocolate covered ants

Till Britney Spears puts on some pants

Till O.J. finds the real killer

Till I have a wet dream about Phyllis Diller

I'm gonna love you till...

All the Hummer owners put the earth ahead of their egos

Till all the guys with beer guts quit wearing speedos

Till Kathy Lee Gifford promises never to sing

Till Pee Wee Herman stops fooling with his thing

I'm gonna love you till...

All the CRAP that's made in China is safe again

Till they get those muhfugging snakes off this plane

Till the Grinch Who Stole Christmas is apprehended

Till all the holes in my BVDs are mended

I'm gonna love you till...

Sarah Palin wins another election

Till I figure out what to do with this four hour erection

Till I start up a band that's called "The Schmucks"

Till health care in America no longer sucks

I'm gonna love you till...

Hillary is back in the White House

Till you spay or neuter your spouse

Till The Blue Man Group looks pretty in pink

Till Glenn Beck stops raising such a stink

I'm gonna love you till...

Donald Trump lives in a one room shack

Till Kirstie Alley skips a snack

Till those greedy bastards extract the last drop of oil from the earth

Till the Octomom stops giving birth

I'm gonna love you till...

Pluto is reinstated as a planet

Till Jimmy Hoffa is found encased in granite

Till Ted Nugent becomes a vegetarian

Till Paris Hilton becomes a great humanitarian

I'm gonna love you till...

Lucy stops screwing with Charlie Brown's head

Till all the starving children are fed

Till The Ghost of Christmas Past comes to bite me on the ass

Till somebody explains to me what the appeal is of Rascal Flatts

I'm gonna love you till...

The men's crapper at the Denver Greyhound bus station gets the doors back on its stalls

Till Lindsay Lohan stops climbing the walls

Till Natalie Holloway is found

Till Simon and Garfunkel are homeward bound

I'm gonna love you till...

Someone decides what's wrong and what's right

Till I don't have to pee in the middle of the night

Till all the wars are fought by politicians

Till the children of the ghetto have decent living conditions

I'm gonna love you till...

We stop insulting seniors by calling them "Honey"

Till they find all of Bernie Madoff's money

Till we understand that borders are only in our minds

Till a man takes a stroll on Mars just to see what he finds

Till the nuclear missiles are removed from their pads

Till babies grow up again with DADS

Till every homeless person has a warm place to sleep

Till an eye-for-an-eye becomes turn the other cheek

Till mercy and justice prevail

Till I get my tax refund check in the mail

I'm gonna love you till I put out the dog and bring in the cat...

Do YOU wanna be loved like that?

Back by popular demand it's...FRIDGE POETRY # 3 !