Thursday, March 26, 2020
FIRST AND FOREMOST
Let's rob the liquor store
then walk all day
the scent of death
swirling in the air
do a lap or two
around that lap dancer
circumnavigate the moon
swing on a comet's tail
there should be more gaiety
in our hearts
the scent of earth
the scent of death
and yet
spring is in the air
there should be more gaiety
there should be more courage
like the Italians singing
from their balconies
like the songbirds
calling from the trees
whistle past the graveyard
and rejoice
for in the midst of darkness
we have seen the light
Man's greatest concern
revealed at last...
first and foremost
it's about wiping your ass
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
ALONE TOGETHER
My life's work
as assistant
to the assistant
to the assistant
spittoon cleaner
has been interrupted
I've been told not to come
to work
as we are practicing
social distancing
but I can't properly do my job
from home
anybody can see that
so I implore you
for the sake of the country
to bypass the spittoons until
we get a handle on this thing
nobody likes a spittoon
that is filled to the brim with
cigarette butts and all kind of
green slime
the preferred way to expectorate
is to stop your car at the red light
open the driver's side door
lean down
and hock that big loogie
right onto the pavement
the other drivers behind you
really appreciate this
you'll feel good that you've
done your part for America
as we're all in this together...
alone
Tuesday, March 10, 2020
MOTHER
King Midas In Reverse
is the ultimate metaphor
for the lot of us
everything is fine
till we come along and turn it to shit
jolted out of complacency
your first instinct is to
stockpile that asswipe
funny
when you think of our priorities
just don't be squeezin' that Charmin, okay?
too many bodies
it's what I've been telling you
all along
too many friggin' heads
to even try to count
but nothing to be done about it now
'cept to kill a crapload of us off
is that what you've had
in the back of your mind
all along, Mother?
in the name of self-preservation?
Mars looks on
and doesn't blame you...
so quiet there now
Monday, March 2, 2020
THE STARS RUN THEIR COURSE
a beggar-king
at Burger King
asking for The Impossible
now I'm a SpongeBob diver
beneath the 12 mile reef
a broken lance
torn underpants
it undermines
all my carefully curated bravado
so many lifetimes
you think Bigfoot
is concerned about
his carbon footprint?
and the case against
having anything
is that you've so much
to lose
(I'll send obligatory
condolences
or maybe congratulations)
but anytime you switch on
the radio
and Steely Dan
comes wafting
(like those Santa Ana winds)
you're ahead of the game
the bathroom down the hall
always has somebody in there
beneath the hand-scrawled sign
that says
Please take a seat
you can
of course
always hang it out the window
unless it faces the street
let the stars run their course
it all makes sense
in mysterious ways
one day your writings
will be all that's left of you
Sunday, March 1, 2020
I BELIEVE ONLY IN GARLIC
It is mid morning
and some salesmonkey in Mississippi
is ringing my number
ignoring the grave warnings
in my voice greeting
implores me repeatedly
to ask my doctor about
something
and the shopping aisles
are lined with friendly reminders
to get my flu shot
they're trying to kill me at every turn
so I'm off to do my power walk
and as the plague spreads
across the planet
I believe only in garlic
and apple cider vinegar
and beets
and in the end
perhaps
I believe only in dynamite
and you're still hot and heavy
for a man from your past who was
arrogant and insensitive to your feelings
a quasi musician with no real ambition
(I've read the private thoughts of many
so please don't feel singled out)
and I remember the night she said:
how DARE you invade my mind like that!
sorry...
my ancestors were Vikings
we live in constant dread
like quail scurrying across open spaces
time runs down
till time runs out
and in the end
we're all just looking for something
that's more enduring than we are
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)