HAPPY TALK NEWS

Imaginary Garden With real Toads

Now let's join the local
morning news team on Channel 18...


News Anchor KEN:
There's a big jaywalking problem
in our city--now we take you
to Stacy Blah, our reporter
on the scene down at the 
corner of Blah and Blah...

Holy crap, Stacy...
get out of the road...
you almost got hit by that bus!

Now let's go to Shannon for the weather...hey Shannon, there's some discussion
around the water cooler as to whether
you are a natural blonde or not...

SHANNON:
That's for me to know and for you to 
put it where the sun don't shine, Ken!

KEN:
Hey Shannon, I'm only relaying
the scuttlebutt from those who
observed you at the office Christmas
party--ha ha!


Now let's go to Jay for the sports report...

JAY:
Well, folks, the Cubs lost another game last night. They've got no hitting and they've got no pitching. You'll see them in the World Series again in another hundred years or so. If you're lucky. THEY SUCK!!!

KEN:
Keep it right here  
for more news you can use...
we'll be back with more
on the election after these short
words about your erection
from Frank Thomas!

Click.