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Thursday, January 17, 2019

A FITTING END



I wasn't born into sin.
I created that for myself
and had a damn good time at it,
thank you.

Oh, you'll be happy to learn

that here--the Las Vegas
of the solar system
(if not the galaxy)-- 
what happens on earth
stays on earth.

So 'ave at it boys and girls--

everything's permitted.
How do I know?
Because it exists!

HA!


And to think at one time

I wanted to be a squid farmer.
So maybe I missed my calling
but in my present role of
guru/ philosopher and Certified
Bra Fitter, I can serve the world
on dual levels.

A fragment in time

becomes a fragment
in your poem.
String enough fragments together
and voila!
The question being should there be
a unifying thread?

Is there a unifying thread

that runs through your shirt?
(That's some nice threads, man!)


Einstein looked and looked

for a unified theory of the universe.
He never found it.

So my advice to you is to

go out there and be the best
squid farmer you can be.
And leave these larger questions 
of life to us professionals.

And I do hope you'll come

 in for a fitting soon.

40 comments:


  1. The earth is flat

    The earth is round

    but what does that mean

    that 1kg makes one pound?

    single/ bi is not anymore

    now it's LGBTQ, and

    rainbow 2 da core




    so trump it up

    and trump it down

    the towers fell and the

    wall goes up it makes no difference

    in the end spittoons

    are wanted to the

    bitter end




    china and japan

    eat cats and dogs and

    live fish and we buy cheap

    material right from their tisch

    our children are tainted

    and are fighting on

    i love U tom

    and jerry

    and

    john.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your poem is a true classic! Funny and profound. Nice follow-up to mime!
    Also appreciate the spittoon reference, as you know I'm the Assistant To The Assistant To The Assistant Spittoon Cleaner.

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  3. Ha! What fun in straying from the goal of being a squid farmer, with all the fancies and strange profundities taking shape right before our eyes.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! Glad you had fun with it, which was my intent.

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  4. "A fragment in time becomes a fragment in your poem," that is so true! We usually write what lies around inside the subconscious mind. 💖

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    Replies
    1. Exactly. And there's so much lying around in there!

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  5. Certified bra fitters should only be promoted to assistant-to-assistant-to-assistant spittoon cleaners.

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  6. I enjoyed your poem so much and the bonus poem in the comments is perfect. I so enjoyed the exchange.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sherry. Are we havin' fun yet? I think I am...but then I'm out of my mind.

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  7. I wonder... somehow I would prefer to be a bra fitter than a squid farmer.

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  8. A Frank Zappa wanted to be a dental floss farmer! Very zany (a funny word).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's not much market for used dental floss--it's kind of a one time thing. Squid, on the other hand, you can raise as pets and keep them around!

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  9. This makes me think of Tom Robbins. Maybe I should give up garlic and be a squid farmer!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Yvonne. If you do, let me know if it's profitable!

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  10. Breast taper to the super models is what I would like to be, fulfilling, exciting and enough of a unifying theory in my book. This was really funny. You come up with the best stuff.

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    Replies
    1. That's high praise. Am so glad you liked it!

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  11. *snort* Now I'm craving calamari

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    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you're snorting, cuz if you look up at the top of the page, it says "snort it up your snout!"

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  12. Good point about being the best at what you can be, I... without any doubt, make the best chocolate milkshakes in the world and like the stain glass makers of the Renaissance period and the Stradivarius, the secret will die with me.

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    Replies
    1. I wish I had known you in high school because that was essentially my diet right there!

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  13. The whole point of trying to be your best is that if you don't you will spent an eternity regretting it...where I am sure there are better things to do.

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  14. I love it when you wax philosophically!

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  15. I'd very much like to be a squid farmer...I really love this style of poem and how well you've expressed it. :)

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  16. Several giggles, three chuckles and a guffaw on the fun meter. Your "Bra Fitter" reference (but seriously, as the husband of a buxom lady, I've found pro bra fitters to be essential--tool many women wear ill-fitting bras)is like work at the Fish factory; most junior baiters hope to become master baiters

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    Replies
    1. Oh, thanks much! Most of us have made that transition to master--guffaw...the ill-fitting bras, I know...there was a lean period for me in the seventies when women didn't wear any...but now I'm back in business!

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  17. "Oh, you'll be happy to learn
    that here--the Las Vegas
    of the solar system
    (if not the galaxy)--
    what happens on earth
    stays on earth."

    Brilliant, fun, and delightful all rolled into one. I need a T-shirt with that on it.

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    Replies
    1. What happens on earth, stays on earth...I think that would work on a shirt--lol

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  18. Nice lines: "what happens on earth
    stays on earth."

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    Replies
    1. Or we can wish it were so, eh? I think we will soon be exporting our pollution to other planets.

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  19. This was brilliantly witty Timoteo! my smile grew as I read. Certified bra fitter serving the world on "dual" levels ... indeed... :-) The question about unifying thread - yes there should be, otherwise it becomes a scattering of cats, and you know what chaos that is...

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, my friend. Cats should definitely be observed by anyone who is studying Chaos Theory!

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  20. Bra fitters have changed my life, to find someone who can work with you in a difficult situation and treat you respectfully and help you find solutions and help you feel confident and autonomous in your body and in the world requires actually a special person, and not everyone who tries is good at that. I am not sure that everything that happens on earth stays on earth, actions and relationships spin into the billions of otherworldly galaxies and alternative universes located between each set of ears, and fed by each heart. Interesting that a few of the gentlemen commenters are interested in the profession, I have to wonder if they would serve the world better providing the Calamari, a bra fitter has to understand vulnerability without circumstantial requisition. The key to your unified theory is that we are all the thread.

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    Replies
    1. "What happens on earth stays on earth," is of course a play on What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas--it doesn't...people go home and tell their stories, but it's a good advertising slogan. But it's the idea that you can do what you want and get away with it, which is exactly our attitude toward the earth, and look where it's gotten us. As to the bra fitting, practice makes perfect...but if not, the practice is its own reward! Thank you for another poetical response!

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