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Monday, April 8, 2019

HAPPY TALK NEWS

Imaginary Garden With real Toads


 Now let's join the local
morning news team on Channel 18...


 News Anchor KEN:
There's a big jaywalking problem
in our city--now we take you
to Stacy Blah, our reporter
on the scene down at the 
corner of Blah and Blah...

Holy crap, Stacy...
get out of the road...
you almost got hit by that bus!

 Now let's go to Shannon for the weather...hey Shannon, there's some discussion
around the water cooler as to whether
you are a natural blonde or not...

SHANNON:
That's for me to know and for you to 
put it where the sun don't shine, Ken!

 KEN:
Hey Shannon, I'm only relaying
the scuttlebutt from those who
observed you at the office Christmas
party--ha ha!


Now let's go to Jay for the sports report...

 JAY:
Well, folks, the Cubs lost another game last night. They've got no hitting and they've got no pitching. You'll see them in the World Series again in another hundred years or so. If you're lucky. THEY SUCK!!!

 KEN:
Keep it right here  
for more news you can use...
we'll be back with more
on the election after these short
words about your erection
from Frank Thomas!

 Click.
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16 comments:

  1. Rosemary Nissen-WadeApril 9, 2019 at 7:15 AM

    Thank you! Satire is one of my favourite things. And though I don't live in the US, in some things we're not very different.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TimoteoApril 9, 2019 at 9:07 AM

      I imagine that's true, Rosemary. Good to see you!

      Delete
  2. MagyarApril 9, 2019 at 7:29 AM

    Smiles!
    __ Sensing truth, is parallel to finding a ping-pong ball... within Niagara Falls. _m

    seagulls emit
    communities scuttlebutt
    oceans mix

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TimoteoApril 9, 2019 at 9:05 AM

      Indeed. Seagulls may be the only things that chatter more incessantly than these TV folks! Happy day to you, my friend!

      Delete
  3. rallentandaApril 9, 2019 at 7:50 AM

    Yes..it's almost identical down here...being cerebrally bludgeoned to death by the vacuous mindless rhetoric of media morons...
    PS
    Am feeling very assertive today:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TimoteoApril 9, 2019 at 8:51 AM

      You have such a catchy way of putting things! Yes, the Happy Talk format has been adopted round the world, I suspect, as real news--whatever that is--takes a back seat to the brainless chatter of Barbie and Ken dolls. We don't even know if they are anatomically correct!

      Delete
  4. Sherry Blue SkyApril 9, 2019 at 10:21 AM

    ...and we wont say a word about that old bugaboo, climate change, such a downer. LOL. I always love reading you, Tim.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TimoteoApril 9, 2019 at 12:08 PM

      But there's lots of celebrity gossip to get to! Ha ha. Thanks, Sherry. Love ya!

      Delete
  5. Sanaa RizviApril 9, 2019 at 12:46 PM

    Hahaha this is so on point and accurate considering the Happy Talk format that has been adopted around the world. Powerfully rendered!

    ReplyDelete
  6. colleenApril 9, 2019 at 1:52 PM

    Selling Viagra? Click and fade to black. I'm glad you have a good sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TimoteoApril 10, 2019 at 9:10 AM

      I wonder if Frank Thomas, a legendary baseball player, ever gave much thought to the fact that his lasting legacy in everyone's mind will now be that of someone admitting on TV that he needs pills for E.D. lol

      Delete
  7. Susie ClevengerApril 10, 2019 at 11:29 AM

    Oh, the chit chat news drives me nuts. Love your take on it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TimoteoApril 10, 2019 at 8:08 PM

      Thank you Susie. Now let's go to Shannon for the weather!

      Delete
  8. ^.^April 12, 2019 at 5:18 PM

    I have my Happy Talk by Tank every morning when cumin from work … smiles …
    Sunny 94 - LacombeOnline.com … Much love, cat.

    ReplyDelete

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