ON THE LINE BETWEEN AUTUMN AND WINTER

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

I.

Between what could have been
and what was
lies The Land Of Regret
where the hotel service is lousy
the beds are never made
(the sheets get so tangled)
and it's always raining.
You can go there 
for a visit
but don't stay too long
and never buy 
a one-way ticket
or you will never come back. 

II.

I've had more embarrassing moments
than you
due to a proclivity
for winging it 
in situations that required
a boy scout's preparedness
counting on some magic
unrealism to carry the day
and when it didn't
(which was 99 percent)
I developed a taste for the raw egg
that was dripping down my face
and so I wince
when reviewing the past 
but that die is cast
life is still a blast.

III. 

I journeyed back 
to my little town
population two hundred six
in its heyday
to find it in ruins
the little cafe where all the kids
fed the jukebox and pinball machine
workin' on those night moves
at least in their heads
now just a storehouse
for some rickety furniture
the pool hall 
gone
the people I knew 
gone
it was like a war memorial
in the quiet aftermath 
of a bloody conflict 
where I literally fought
to survive as an 
outcast and a loner
and yet have always felt
better off for being battle tested.

IV.

I stand behind my life 
the way the man who follows
the elephant down the street
with a shovel and a wheelbarrow
stands behind his work. 


V.

No one is unlovable--
if you don't believe it
check out the couples
down at your local Walmart.

VI.

I can write about old lovers

family 

and friends

with no trepidation

and I do.

They don't read my work.

That

intimate stranger

I leave to you.

VII. 

I've searched for meaning

in this carnival world 
that surrounds me
only to learn
there's nothing to do
but join in the dance.

VIII.

It shifted to winter seamlessly
there was nothing you could point to
that said you've crossed over
but somewhere along the line
you did of course
autumn days still mild
nights portending of what's to come
the scent of wood smoke in the air
then one morning you awaken
and the world around you 
has grown cold
and you brace 
for December's finality.

TUNNEL VISION

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

You can always find someone
to feel sorry for in The Naked City
someone who feels exposed
even when fully clothed because
those with the gift of vision
can see right through them
and I, Clark Kent, know about this
better than most

I roam these streets by day
(no fly-by-night superhero am I)
the people see me
as they have seen my alter-ego
so many times on the TV
if not in person
rescuing some ducks
or some sluts
from the gutter
and they never once put two 
and two together 
that I am he
and he is me
by the mere fact that I am wearing
these dorky glasses
I mean come on
really
it just shows you how easily
people are fooled
as no one even once ever said
you know you look a little like him
take your glasses off for a moment
it's why nobody sees
that the emperor has no clothes
as they grope blindly
along the tunnel 
in a dream 
within
a dream
within
a dream
here in The Naked City

YOURS DROOLY

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

There was a time when I 
thought that I was gonna crap 
out before the age of thirty
in some romantic James Dean
bullshit kind of thing 
but now being to hell and gone
past that (and past the point 
of caring 'bout most things
I cared about then)
I gotta kinda wonder if
live fast die young 
might not have been
the better option
cuz the last thing 
I ever wanted to be 
was some decrepit old fool
who can't get up off the stool

but that's probably coming

then again I think about
how I would have missed
this lovely shit show 
we've got here today
(I know I don't have to go into it)
and I'm kinda glad that I can be here to commiserate with you 
and help you through it 
in my own little way
so come here and put
your head on my shoulder
cuz it's a lot easier than me
trying to put my shoulder 
on your head

Yours Truly,
Still Not Dead

COMING

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

the odor of death
hangs heavy over the planet
the corpses of angels
strewn at our feet

and it's coming


the people were told
by the high priests 
of climate change
but they paid no heed
till it started to rain
(say what you will about Noah--
 he had strong animal magnetism)

what to do now:


rob the liquor store
do a lap or two
around the lap dancer
circumnavigate the moon
swing on a comet's tail
eat in the kitchen
crap in the loo
the creatures marched in
two by two
look out Flahr-Da
there's more soup for you

take a Greyhound to Memphis
do a thing with The King
drink your whiskey straight
masturbate
(as you can see
it doesn't matter to me)

'cause it's coming

the odor of death
hangs over the planet
you can see it in the skies
and in the children's eyes

but what we will carry:
the scent of earth
and twigs
and pine

we'll always remember you
Mother 
just as you are
as we gaze wistfully upon you
from some other star

and we are coming