If what were left of you was water instead of dust I'd drink a little of you each day and piss you out in the mornings like dew drops on the heather then wait for you to rise into the clouds and pray for stormy weather
Says something about me, I guess, that I find this poem most perfectly beautiful. What a brilliant conception, and stylish execution: not a word is out of place. It's going to take a lot to beat this as my fave of the day.
Funny, and then it makes me think. But then it is back to funny just because "and piss you out / in the mornings" just is not romantic even when the liquid is described as dew! Uniquely rained and drizzled and hoped.
KAYKUALA, SUSAN, GEMMA: We seem to have a difference of opinion as to whether urinating can be romantic. I think if you do it while reciting love poetry, we could definitely say yes!
MARGARET: Thank you, dear one. "Craziest love poem I've ever read" is an honor that I shall cherish.
MARY, CLAUDIA, KRISTINA: So happy to see you here. Feel free to slip into something more comfortable.
HEDGEWITCH: Ah, you nailed it, my lady. Guess I will always answer to that title.
Now this is compelling, either love or hate, or love-hate. Like most relationships. But the dust lingers in the air, so maybe this is more curse than blessing.
the middle caught me off guard, but I'd be praying for stormy weather as well-- anything to keep the cycle going. there really is nothing better than a good thunderous storm--it echoes the loss. beautiful.
So poignant, Tim..........I love it.
ReplyDeleteGood thing we'll to dust ... otherwise there would be no catnip growing ... meouw ... :)
ReplyDeletehaha nice....that is one way to keep them around....that way we could fertilize your day...smiles...
ReplyDeleteSays something about me, I guess, that I find this poem most perfectly beautiful. What a brilliant conception, and stylish execution: not a word is out of place. It's going to take a lot to beat this as my fave of the day.
ReplyDeleteNow that is love!
ReplyDeleteSHERRY, CAT, BRIAN: Fertilizing my day...I like that concept, since I'm usually knee-deep in sh*t anyway!
ReplyDeleteKERRY: I can't remember receiving a lovelier comment than this. Thank you, lovely one.
Lovely rounding off, Tim! It's a way with relationships that snip a little but loving it dearly!
ReplyDeleteHank
Funny, and then it makes me think. But then it is back to funny just because "and piss you out / in the mornings" just is not romantic even when the liquid is described as dew! Uniquely rained and drizzled and hoped.
ReplyDeleteO I love this creative burst! Even pissing sounds romantic! But that final stormy weather is enigmatic! Another wild ride of pleasure or pain?
ReplyDeleteA unique view on grief, but I like it!
ReplyDelete...grief? hmmm. I'm thinking the word that comes to mind is "obsession". :) Craziest "love" poem I've ever read....
ReplyDeletehaha..so good...there are different ways to deal with things...i quite like yours..smiles
ReplyDeleteIt's good...intriguing, even though "and piss you out" caught me off guard and made me laugh. You followed it through.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a hopeless romantic.
ReplyDeleteLoved it, Timo--still smiling, and will every time I feel a nature poem coming on.
KAYKUALA, SUSAN, GEMMA: We seem to have a difference of opinion as to whether urinating can be romantic. I think if you do it while reciting love poetry, we could definitely say yes!
ReplyDeleteMARGARET: Thank you, dear one. "Craziest love poem I've ever read" is an honor that I shall cherish.
MARY, CLAUDIA, KRISTINA: So happy to see you here. Feel free to slip into something more comfortable.
HEDGEWITCH: Ah, you nailed it, my lady. Guess I will always answer to that title.
This would make pissing in the yard ten times funner that it already is...and its already fun. Hardcore man...hardcore. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteSpare, as opposed to short, and just the right mix of the wry and the wistful. An awful lot of good in a small package.
ReplyDeleteThis slips and slides from tender to profane to sacred. Masterfully done.
ReplyDeletewow, interesting read.
ReplyDeleteNow this is compelling, either love or hate, or love-hate. Like most relationships. But the dust lingers in the air, so maybe this is more curse than blessing.
ReplyDeletethe middle caught me off guard, but I'd be praying for stormy weather as well-- anything to keep the cycle going. there really is nothing better than a good thunderous storm--it echoes the loss. beautiful.
ReplyDeleteHEROTOMOST: What else is there to do in the yard?
ReplyDeleteW.K., QUOTES, RMP: Much appreciated.
CHARLES: It's all about love.
BUDDAH: I like the way you described the progression...right on target.
This really touched me..I'd drink a little
ReplyDeleteof you
each day....I love your thoughts here. Brilliant!
Thanks, Ayala!
ReplyDeletehmmm. i really like this.
ReplyDeletei miss poetry. both reading and writing. always loved how you could say so much in such a short piece.
good stuff!
Lovely, romantic...nice work!
ReplyDeleteThis is more romantic than one might think, when one considers the diction.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kerry...as always, insightful comments.
DeleteHa, a couple of years after my first having read this poem, I have a different take on it. As always, you are a true original. Smiles.
ReplyDeleteAbout four years since this one first appeared, and yes, we do get a different perspective, often times, when revisiting.
DeleteNice!! I like the way you see it. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by, Hannah!
DeleteWonderful use of diction here :D
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for visiting with regularity, Sanaa!
DeleteAn original, for sure. Unexpected, for sure. Quirky love poem that I have a feeling will stay with me for a long time.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Margaret. You've stated everything that a poet could hope to hear from a reader.
DeleteOh my goodness I like this, you have it going and coming :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Linda...sometimes I don't know which is which!
DeleteOh how this made me smile, then grimace, then smile anew. This is a modern man's love poem and I adore it.
ReplyDeleteThat puts a smile on my face (more like a silly grin) too, Raivenne.
DeleteWell that is a unique viewpoint..Love it!
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you so much, Susie, for chiming in.
DeleteI think coming back again is what matters.... passion takes any ways it needs.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it!
DeleteThis cracked me up! Awesome!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mama!
DeleteGood lord this is a fantastic love poem, Timo. xo
ReplyDeleteFantastic advice!
ReplyDelete