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Sunday, April 5, 2020

APOCALYPSE THEN

  https://poetsandstorytellersunited.blogspot.com/ 

NOTE: Today's offering is an encore presentation first published in 2012. I've updated it to reflect the current year, but otherwise it is as originally published--perhaps more relevant to today's times than it was back then.


the day was December twenty-first,
and the year was two thousand and twenty.
and all of the folks down at the auction house
were going about their daily bid-ness
when there came a thundering boom
and a boomerous thunder
and the skies opened up
and a chorus of angels sang out
and all began to wonder
as the cry rang into the night:
why, them damn Mayans were right!


cuz it's closin' time
here at the world
last call for alcohol
at the weary old world


the preachers were atop their street corner 
soap boxes
railing fire and brimstone
'cept for that crazy one
who kept predicting the end
on one date and then another
was doing an Irish jig on a table top
cackling: I told ya--suckhas! 


Let the animals loose!
a man began to shout--
let 'em run for higher ground
and we'll be right on their tails.
(but people move like snails.)


and I saw Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes
wailin' the ol' Gut Bucket Blues
as she took another swig of booze
knowing she had nothing to lose
as she said, "C'mon boys--line up over here and take a number!"


and people were making love
in the street--
yeah, they were squirmin' like a toad 
to the boombox strains of
Why Don't We Do It In The Road.


cuz it's  closin' time
here at the world
almost closin' time 
at the weary ol' world.


so strained under the weight
of  inflated egos
and institutionalized hate.


and the churches opened their doors to all,
and didn't stop to check
if you were straight or gay--
to the sudden epiphany
that all of us can pray.


And mom and pop
said to the kids
go ahead and open
your presents--
it's now or never
forever and ever.


and  Santa at the mall
bolted upright
with a "git this BRAT offa me"
as he headed for the bar
and ran into another car.


and Dick Cheney,
scrambling for a place to hunker,
remembered he still had the key
to that underground bunker.


and people were jumping
from the top of Jeff Bridges
as confusion rained
on The Supremes.


and old Betty Conklin
recalled how she used
all that aerosol spray
and she never recycled
not even for a day...


and old Jeb Mcgurk
spat the juice from his chaw
as he cried: hallelujah--here I
come ma and paw!


and Paris Hilton
from her mansion of riches
took out her ipad and tweeted:
so long, bitches!


and as the animals headed for the hills
('cept the ones in Kansas--
they just ran in circles)
the roaches were throwing
a giant block party
with hijacked scones and coffee


cuz it's closin' time
here at the world
closin' time at the weary old world
no more time to be clever...


time to roll up the sidewalks
and stash them away


forever.

32 comments:

  1. Clever, humorous and with some good ole Timoteo grit to it - yikes! Not much time left for my To Do List. Mind you, I guess it wont matter anyway:)

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  2. oh my...first the mayans and now you...glad paris got in that one last tweet you know...ha...i figure if it is time it will come regardless of anything i do...

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  3. to the sudden epiphany
    that all of us can pray.

    I liked that tucked away in the middle of all this chaos. :)

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  4. "there came a thundering boom
    and a boomerous thunder"
    Thats my favorite part, but this, this is BRILLIANT.

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  5. Oh, this is a doozie. Love it!

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  6. Let the good times roll ... one last time ... love this, Tim ... meow :)

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  7. Good morning! Guess what!? I've been tagged, so in turn, I have tagged you. You just answer some fun questions and continue the game (or not) but it's fun to know more about fellow bloggers. Stop by. : )

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  8. The close.
    A purge of hate;
    This mouse and cat embrace;
    Poems and politics, find rhyme.
    Three three.

    12/21/12: 12+21=33; 21+12=33

    _m

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  9. SHERRY (We better work on that bucket list afore it's time to kick it!)
    BRIAN, MARGARET, EVELYN, THINGY, CAT (Let's roll, baby!)

    MAGYAR (Nice. Did you know 33 is known as "chicken lips" in Bingo circles? I only know that because I was once a bingo caller--of all the perverted things!)

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  10. Wouldn't hurt MY feelings if it were. I hope Keith Richards and his expensive cockroach winos enjoy whatever's left over, but personally, I'll be happy to book on out of this crazy farm, and if the entire Tea Party goes with me, that's even better. ;_) Loved the Paris Hilton line--soooo her!

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  11. haha..so good...ya know... i would join the roaches any time for their party coz hijacked scones and coffee sounds awesome...smiles...fine write sir

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  12. You were on a roll here, Timoteo! This should be put to music, Johnny Cash style.

    Thank you for paying a visit to my blog - you kind comments are always read with pleasure.

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  13. Complex and layered, I agree with Kerry - this would make a great son

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  14. This has some of the best rhythmic quality in it, with a none-too-subtle irony pounding through the verses, punctuated by a colloquial tour-de-force.

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  15. A world without sidewalks? Either it will be quite muddy, or quite delightful!

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    Replies
    1. We've already rolled up the sidewalks in most of our cities. In the absence of people scurrying to and fro, I saw where goats were taking over this one town. I thought that was delightful.

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  16. So many things seem to become clear when the world is on fire.

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    Replies
    1. Our real priorities come to the fore, and we descend upon the toilet paper aisles in the stores :)

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  17. This is...breathless from the unexpected laughter and the earned tears. I think I need to go collect myself and read it again.

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  18. I enjoyed this roller coaster of people fleeing for safety or doing other crazy things because it's closing time. Love the poem You have a great sense of humor

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  19. Don't you worry so much, somebody will fix it, won't they? They will won't they? Ugh! We are in trouble then.

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    1. One day there will come a notice across your television screen...THIS IS A TEST...THIS IS ONLY A TEST...THIS WHOLE THING HAS BEEN A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM. Now back to our regularly scheduled Bill Cosby sitcom.

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  20. A fascinating, compelling piece of writing … with lots of wonderful layers to linger in.

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  21. Replies
    1. Every apocalypse scenario comes back into vogue sooner or later. :)

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  22. Only in 2020 we cant do it in the road, given social distancing. I always enjoy reading you, Tim. Stay safe, kiddo.

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    Replies
    1. Good point, Sherry. Though we may just throw that out the window when the fire and brimstone is raining down! Be well. Be happy.

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  23. We have to drink alone these days...Can't even party til the end. :)

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