Friday, July 9, 2010


Anthony Moschetti, age 56, went to be with his heavenly father on July 5, 2010. He succumbed following a short illness resulting from a drive-by shooting. A dedicated family man and long-time drug dealer, Mr. Moschetti is survived by his wife, Bernice, of Bogota, Colombia. A civic-minded individual, Tony belonged to the Lions, Kiwanis, and Rotary clubs, and served as a member of the Governor's Advisory Board. He was a patron of the arts, and was fond of saying that his two favorite things were Puccinni and linguini. Tony joined the mob at an early age, starting as a lowly bag man and working his way up until, at one time, he controlled most of the ganja, smack, and nose candy making its way across the border into Arizona. Much of his ill-gotten gain was laundered through several sham corporations, allowing him and his family to live comfortably in their Tucson foothills home. Tony gave freely to many charitable organizations, and he and his wife were quite active socially. If any of their high-brow acquaintances ever suspected what he was really into--they, of course, didn't let on. Tony personally engineered hits on several of his rivals, including Sammy "The Snake" Leonetti, Willie "The Weasel" Minetti, and Ralphie "The Rat" Rosetti. He was preceded in death by his father, Vincent, (drive-by shooting) brother, Joey, ( car bomb) brother, Frank, (pushed from a high-rise) brother, Danny (car bomb) uncle, Carlo, (sleeps with the fishes) nephew, Gary, (car bomb) and grandmother, Edna, (died in prison of natural causes). Services will be held on Tuesday, July 14 at 2 p.m. at St. Augustine Cathedral. In lieu of flowers, what's left of Mr. Moschetti's family requests that donations be made to the Fraternal Order of Police.


  1. lol! If obtituaries were truthful they would be so much more interesting. Same thing with eulogies!

    I love the way your mind works, Tim!

  2. Yes I echoe Talon and my own thought, how come you know so much about them? hmmm

  3. ... and 'Ellsworth Toohey' wrote the obituary that mourned the loss, and praised this piller of morality. _m

  4. TALON,
    If the real truth be known about ANY well-know person, we'd all be shocked!

    Oh, I get around...

    But if Toohey had tried to sabotage THIS guy, he would have also slept with the fishes! LOL