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Tuesday, May 30, 2017



DOOMED GIRLS

sit
right up at the bar
where they can be noticed

doomed girls
ride
on the backs of shiny hogs
with their arms wrapped snugly
around his waist

doomed girls
haven't spoken to their moms
since forever
and don't know why

doomed girls
are still trying to get their kids back

doomed girls
find work as babysitters

doomed girls have stacks of  presents waiting
for when their kids come home for good
someday

doomed girls
are determined to quit smoking
someday

doomed girls are going to take
that Mediterranean cruise
someday

doomed girls
place their hands over their hearts
at baseball games

doomed girls
are loyal to a fault

doomed girls
are always making excuses for him

doomed girls
don't know when to shut up

doomed girls say
"I walked into a door" a lot

doomed girls know
it's always their fault

doomed girls
have visions of finding that nice guy
a little too late

42 comments:

  1. Forgive my vulgarity, but you hit this out of the fuckin' park. This was masterful, wry and knowing. Excellent! Thanks for sharing it.

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    1. I do so appreciate that. Thanks!

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  2. An enjoyable read. I do hope they are not all doomed. Sad. I like the relateable bio sketch.

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    1. Not if they find that nice guy in time :)

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  3. This is a very good poem. Pithy punchy and to the point. A sad but real topic. Doomed girls will never find a nice guy. Firstly, because there are very few nice guys around and secondly because nice guys want a problem free nice comfortable life with a nice 'gel' without baggage or impediments:)

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    1. You are correct on all counts, my dear. Very few of us "nice guys" around anymore :)

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  4. You paint a very bleak portrait.

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  5. There are very bleak situations going on as we speak. And I have seen this situation more times than I can remember. Misplaced loyalty to an abuser. It seems to be tied in with self-esteem, and what we think we deserve...or don't deserve.

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  6. I'm not sure how this fits my prompt. For their impossible hopes at the end? That said, taken on its own merits it is very compelling. The line that really got me was the one about their kids coming home for good. There are a million girls like this, but their stories are no less sad for that. Nice work.

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    1. Did i end up on a prompt site? I know I logged into d'Verse Open Link night and had to put mine in their twice, so that must be what happened, as only one of them took... but anyway, I'm glad you got to see it, and always appreciate anything you have to say. There are no coincidences! :)

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    2. Not p'verse. Imaginary Garden With Real Toads. I'm glad I got to see it, too.

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  7. I feel compel to doom their men... for some reason this got me thinking of Lucy Jordan...

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    1. Lucy Jordan...now that's an interesting take!

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  8. Gayle Walters RoseJune 1, 2017 at 1:59 PM

    Those doomed girls are making their choices and living with those empty hopes...so sad.

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  9. Someone said "You can't soar with eagles when you spend all your time with turkeys". Too bad no one told the doomed girls. So sad.

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    1. There's a slogan I will have to borrow!

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  10. I feel for those doomed girls, sadly!

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  11. "doomed girls
    find work as babysitters"

    Ha. I was a babysitter.

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    1. But you're still here, so you must have been doing something right!

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  12. I feel for those doomed girls. There is a whole town full of them here, their kids all in care, as they continue hanging out with losers in bars and crack houses. So sad.

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    1. Yep...there you go, Sherry. I wish someone could explain to me where the attraction to "bad boys" comes from for so many women.

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  13. You paint a very bleak portrait.

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  14. I think you definitely captured a character or type of person here, I forgot whose link I clicked on and was surprised to find that it was not written by a young woman!

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    1. I wish more young women would address this kind of thing.

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  15. I love the voice you've pulled in this. Well done.

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  16. Nice write Timoteo
    I too didn't get what the prompt asked for

    Much love...

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    1. I never do prompts...they limit my imagination.

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  17. doomed girls talk back - after a slap
    doomed girls ask for more whisky and rye
    doomed girls cry then know when to stop
    ... and so on.

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  18. Goes a long way to explaining the mounting death rate among middle aged white women. The observations are sober and ripe but it's always calling out the shots from the other side of the gender fence. I think this is a great paper moons piece, I think of all those vintage shots of women sitting on the porch of a paper moon.

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    1. The Urban Dictionary defines paper moon as "sitting on a Xerox machine and making copies of your bare bum"

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  19. It's not easy being a paper cut-out--or being doomed either, because you know paper shouldn't feel things, just burn itself to ash...I truly love this one, Timo--the insight is both generous and deadly.

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    1. Thanks so much...generous and deadly is what I was aiming for.

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  20. Great insights, and the label "Doomed girls" is perfect, as is the repetition of the phrase.

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    1. Thanks. Good to hear from you, Sarah.

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  21. Ah, dear. I work with some of those girls. And I'm watching my teenage daughter's friends starting to take the decisions that will really affect their lives, and can see a couple of them heading down the doomed route, and there is NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.

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    1. I can empathize with that, Sarah. We all have to fly, or crash and burn through our own choices. Unfortunately, trying to warn young people or tell them anything can often create the opposite of the intended effect. Still, it's worth a try if it's done with love. But then you've got to let it go. We have no right to try to impose our beliefs on anyone who is of legal age. In a way, I guess it's what you would call survival of the fittest.

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  22. Hey, me think me know dat boy ... dats the one who crashed his car while rubber necking for sum girls walkin by ... smiles ... Love, cat.

    ตารางคะแนน

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